Staying Strong
by Elliewelly1
Summary: Sequel to 'Getting through it all'. Something's up with Emma, Alex is being increasingly annoying, Charlotte has a secret, Danny's nowhere to be found and a face of the past for Alice leaves her wondering if this life is really what she wanted.
1. Chapter 1

_**Staying Strong.  
**_**Summary: Sequel to 'Getting through it all'. Something's up with Emma, Alex is being increasingly annoying, Charlotte has a secret, Danny's nowhere to be found and a face of the past for Alice leaves her wondering if her life is really what she wanted.**

**Set five years after getting through it all. Which means Emma's 5, Alex is 8, Charlotte is 18, and the others? Well, their age never made sense anyways. Oh, and Bryce is 5, too ; ) **

**I've been meaning to start this for ages. And suddenly I just felt like it. Even though with a broken laptop charger, now is not the best time. I was gonna update WYAIBRBY, but I reeaallyy want to start this. I hope you can remember what happened in 'obvious' and 'getting through it all' :') **

Alice heard the sneeze and unmistakable coughing of her youngest daughter, Emma. Quickly flicking her straightners off, she jogged from her and Danny's room and straight into the bathroom, where she found her little Emma clinging onto the rim of the sink, pulling herself up so that she could cough up the flem into it. Her wavy brown hair was all over the place and Alice could see tiny drops of flem in it. Straight away she rushed over to her and pulled her hair out of her face, and then picked her up from under her arms, holding her up over the sink until she was finished coughing. Which took a long time. Eventually, Emma stopped and sniffed, her little nose red as usual from the multiple colds she would always have from being prone to colds after having bronchopulmonary dysplasia as a premature baby. Emma's large dark blue eyes, the copy of her mums, were filled with tears and Alice knew what she would say next.

"Mummy, make it stop." She whispered.

Alice lifted Emma up and held her tiny fragile body so she was comfortably sat on her hip. Emma buried her face in her mums neck, sniffing, and Alice felt her tiny warm tears wet her t-shirt. Alice smoothed down Emma's wavy hair, which reached just past her shoulders, hushing her.

"I can't baby, I wish I could, but I can't."

"But I _hate _coughing- Alex doesn't, and neither does Charlotte! Or you! Or Daddy-"

"I know, baby, I know." Alice pressed a kiss to the crown of Emma's head and then carried her through to the hallway, searching for Danny.

"Mummy?" Emma asked in a weak voice.

"Yeah honey?"

"I think… I think I…" Emma broke off with an embarrassed sob.

Alice stopped in her tracks and sighed, soothing her daughter again. Who had accidentally wet herself during another of her coughing fits that she had so regularly. Alice hated seeing her baby like this. What had Emma ever done to deserve this? And the doctors had never said anything about this happening long-term! Of course, they said she was more open to infections due to her lungs being rather damaged, but it was the little things… things that Danny told Alice she was just being paranoid about. Maybe she was just being paranoid. But this coughing lark seemed to going on too much for Emma, as if she constantly had a cold. It was annoying, sure, but not so much as it was worrying.

Alice breezed into Charlotte's room, which she shared with Emma, without knocking. And Charlotte literally jumped a mile when Alice walked in. "Mum!" She complained, annoyed, quickly pushing something under her pillow.

Alice raised her eyebrows at Charlotte, daring her to say more, which she didn't, and simply flounced over to her dressing table and started applying kohl to her eyes. Alice rolled her eyes. Charlotte loved coating herself in make-up, when she really did need it! Alice told her that she was beautiful all the time, which Charlotte really was. She had those big, innocent(so they look!) green eyes and light brown hair that tumbled in curls- it had gone curly roundabout when she turned sixteen- with a heavenly figure that Alice would honestly kill for now- damn baby weight- and had the most beautiful smile Alice could think of. She was flawless! That was probably why Charlotte had all the boys falling at her feet, too. Alice knew that her daughter did get involved with boys- oh she thought she didn't know, of course, but she just _knew, _besides, when they gossiped they were hardly quiet- but not in a tarty way, of course. She was just… one of them girls who got along with boys as well as girls.

Alice placed little Emma on her bed, which was on the opposite wall of Charlotte's, and then grabbed her some new underwear from her dresser and a cute little orange summer dress. She then turned around and placed them beside Emma, before helping her undress.

"Ugh. Must you really change her here?" Charlotte complained moodily.

Alice frowned, what was up with Charlotte? Usually she would happily help out when she had heard Emma had another 'accident'. Instead she sat there and plastered on her make-up, and rolled her eyes. Alice turned to her and scowled.

"What is your problem?" She demanded, hands on hips.

"Nothing!" Charlotte snapped back, throwing the make up pencil on her table and heading over to her wardrobe, grabbing her clothes for the day.

"We need to talk about your attitude I think!"

"If you hadn't noticed, Mum, I'm eighteen, almost nineteen! I can do as I please!"

"Not while you're living under my roof, you can't."

"Well it's hardly _your _roof!"

"Don't talk like that to me young lady!"

"Oh why don't you just-"

"HEY!" A hoarse cry made them both spin around, to see Emma sat on the edge of her bed, glaring at them with her blue eyes as slits. She had successfully undressed herself while Alice and Charlotte had been arguing- but had failed to put on her dress the right way, which caused Charlotte to burst out with laughter. "What?" Emma asked, hurt.

"You got your dress on backwards!" Charlotte told her, grabbing her clothes and flouncing out, obviously towards the bathroom.

Alice clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes at Charlotte's strange behaviour. When she turned back round to Emma, she saw that she was looking at her feet, a few more tiny tears rolling down her cheeks. Alice instantly turned into a mother hen and rushed over to her, gathering little Emma in her arms and holding her tightly.

"I _can _dress myself." Emma muttered into Alice's shoulder, slightly muffled.

"I know, I know baby."

"Mum?" Alice looked up, hearing a new voice. Alex was stood there, grinning his usual eight-year-old-cheeky-boy grin. His light green eyes were alight with mischief and his brown hair was sticking up on end. He looked the image of Danny, except for he had darker hair, like Alice. "I might have accidentally upset one of the guests when Joey decided to go into their guest huts…"

"Joey?"

"You know, the monkey that keeps hanging around here, I named him."

"Oh for Christ's sake Alex!"

**A/N: Think I'll leave it there before I get carried away. I'm useless at first chapters. What dyou think? **


	2. Chapter 2

_**Staying Strong.**_

Alice quickly undressed tiny Emma and then re-dressed her correctly. After that she had a few stern words with Alex, who seemed to find the whole situation completely amusing and was struggling to keep the smirk from his face as his Mum reprimanded him, and then, after ten minutes of her nagging, he finally informed her that the guests were in the kitchen, wanting to have words with her. Alice had literally hit the roof. She couldn't be anymore stressed out. The only thing that would make it worse would be if Bryce had drawn all over the walls again- and that was only because Alex had told him too! Alice had no idea where this cheeky streak had come from in her boy. Of course, she knew that it was probably in Danny's Genes somewhere(well, she loved teasing him with that anyway), but he had always been a sweet little boy. Especially when Emma had been born. He had always been running around helping out with her and she even had photos of him somwhere as a four year old feeding baby Emma- and she couldn't say that he had gone that way for attention, as some kids do when another child was born. Because he always had the same amount as attention as before, maybe even more because Alice was trying to make sure he didn't feel pushed out. So she really had no clue why Alex had turned that way, she had always taught him his manners and what was wrong and what was right. So she was beyond trying to figure out why he had gone that way. And Charlotte? She wasn't even going to go there.

"What sort of place is this? We're supposed to be on holiday here!" The guest, Mr Johnson, who looked like a shrivelled up old prune, cut through her reverie.

Alice sighed, "I am sorry, Mr Johnson, I've told my son-"

"What? Had a few stern words with him did you? Well, that isn't enough! I've seen them all! Running around and screaming like banshee's! God, the children of this generation-"

"Excuse me," Alice said, her words ice cold, she was so stressed out and was finding it increasingly difficult to control her temper nowadays, "But this is their home, thank you very much! You can't deny them of having fun!"

Mr Johnson looked affronted, "Back in my day, children were seen and not heard, and if we set just one toe out of line, we got a clip round the head, and it was toilet and bed! No matter the time or whether we'd had our dinner-"

"Yes, and I am not going to hit my child or deny him of his dinner." She told him sternly. "And I know he isn't going to set his monkey on you again. Anyway, seeing as you're in the middle of the African bush, I would have thought that animals were to be expected."

"Thank god we're leaving tomorrow."

"I was just thinking the same thing."

* * *

Alice sighed as she lay down on her empty bed, and ran two worn hands over her weary face. Exhaling slowly, she sat up, looking around the room, thinking of the cherished memories that went with it, along with those that were sad ones. But she quickly battled them out of her head. No, she would only think of the happy memories. There was no point dwelling on the sad ones. What use would it be? She would only upset herself. Hell, she was already.

Alice heard the footsteps moving around in the next room, Sam and Evans, who had now been married for two years, and were expecting baby number two. As if Bryce wasn't enough to handle! He was a little version of Alex! Alice dreaded to think of how bad their second child may be, considering the second child was always supposed to have the bigger temper- in her family anyway! She had been the second child and had a much worse temper than Rowan. Well, that was what he told her, anyway!

Sam and Evan and little Byrce only lived with them during holiday dates. At the moment, it was Autumn half term. Sam and Evan wanted to live at Leopards Den but Sams parents were not happy to have their child on the other side of the world(well... not the other side of the world exactly, but she meant it as a saying) along with their grandchild, and also the fact she was pregnant. Alice sometimes felt angry at the fact that Sams parents were using the fact that she was slightly dim so that she would stay in England. They always told her that she would be better off in England, money wise, health wise, all that. That wasn't true! They were much better off in Africa. Evan could support his wife easily, he had a well payed job and there was no rent or mortgage needed for Leopards Den, since Dupe had inherited the place from his parents. There were so many people here that it was impossible for anything to go wrong with the baby for Sam, she was constantly being fussed around by Caroline, and even if her eyelid flickered from the baby kicking, Caroline was instantly on alert.

Rosie and Max visited, a lot. Alice still saw the hurt in Rosie's eyes whenever she saw Sams bump, but she knew that Rosie didn't hate Sam for it, just envied her. Her and Max had got along happily with their lives and there had been no further conversation on the fact that they were unable to have children. It was just a unfortunate tale in life for them, sadly. Everyone else guessed that they were fine with it, but Alice knew better. Rosie would never feel the flutter of butterflies inside her when her child first kicked, or have to suffer from morning sickness, have weird cravings, get back ache or swollen ankles. Even though most of them were rather weird to want, it was all a part of having a child, and it really was incredible. And, neither would Rosie be fussed around while she was pregnant, something Alice loved when she was pregnant- ordering Danny around had been fun, and he had only been too willing to help, running around like a little lap dog for her... Rosie would never see the sheer awe on Max's face when her baby kicked and she'd grab Max's hand and place it there, no, she wouldn't, and that had been Alice's favourite part of the whole pregnancy. Danny's face when she had placed his hand on her bump...

There was a knock on Alice's door and a tiny figure slipped into her room. Alice smiled and Emma climbed onto her bed, with difficulty. It amazed Alice, Emma was so little, with Danny for a Dad! She was smaller than average, in weight and height, and she did look younger than she was.

Emma finally clambered up onto the bed and climbed into her Mum's lap, burying her face in her neck, a few tears trickling out. Alice quickly hugged her daughter, she had been expecting her to come in at any time. Emma was always wondering up looking for hugs, and she hated not being in a room without Alice. Alice felt very warm inside with the admiration from her daughter. Even Charlotte hadn't been that dependent on her when it had just been them two!

"What's wrong baby?" Alice asked.

"Miss daddy." She mumbled, and then sniffed.

Alice sighed, her voice suddenly very stiff when she replied, "I know, honey, so do I."

* * *

Alice laughed once again when she was on the phone to Liam. "Oh god, Liam, don't remind me!"

"Hey! You were the one who thought it would be a smart idea to replace Amelia's chocolate spread sandwhich with peanut butter!"

"Well I thought she was lying about being allergic to peanuts!"

There was another laugh on the end, "God, Alice, you are a wonder." He said, "Is it okay if I come over tomorrow?"

Alice thought for a moment. "Yep, sure, nothing important going on, just the animals, and the kids, Dupe included in that part, to look after."

Liam was silent for a moment, and then took a deep breath, "Danny not back yet?"

"No." Alice replied shortly.

"Hey, Alice, you know I didn't mean it like that-"

"It's fine, Liam." She sighed, "I'm going to bed, I shouldn't have stayed up so late, it's eleven, I put the kids to bed hours ago."

"Alice-"

"See you tomorrow, Liam."

Alice placed the phone down on the cradle and fled from the office, heading towards her bedroom. She closed her door behind her quietly so that she didn't wake the rest of Leopards Den, and, without getting undressed, collapsed on her bed, hiding her face in her pillow. She pressed her lips together and squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to not cry. She didn't want to think about it. Danny was still gone in England, but she had no idea where or why.

And she would rather not know.

* * *

**A/N: **Anyone got a sense of de ja vu with this chapter & obvious? Anyway.I just realised that in two fics, there are Alice and Alex. In this, and then in I'm just like you:') Oops. Just to clarify, I wrote Getting Through It All before I started watching A2A;) Also, updates will be slow again, my laptop charger died. Even when I wiggle it around it doesn't work D: So I have to use my sisters laptop to write, and she's not to happy about this. Oh, and I have my English Language Controlled Assessment(the one that replaced coursework¬_¬) starting at the end of next week, so i'm sorta gonna have to take a bit of a break from writing and re-read Of Mice and Men and actually pay attention in English and try and not get distracted dreaming of my fics:'D God, I didn't realise it was so soon. Eek! 4 pages of A4 minimum(1500 words on average), I really need to focus. Gah. I actually want to do well in English:'D


	3. Chapter 3

_**Staying Strong.**_

Alice sighed, watching as Liam and Alex played football out front. She sat with little Emma on her lap, braiding Emma's hair. Charlotte was off somewhere, god knows where, she never told Alice what she did anymore, she barely spoke two words to her nowadays. Sam and Evan were inside wrestling Bryce into his clothes, when he claimed he would much prefer to be in his pyjamas. Dupe and Caroline were out in town- well, Caroline had dragged Dupe along, she wouldn't say he went voluntarily. And then Nomsa was probably bustling about in the kitchen, as usual.

Alice was waiting for a call from Danny. He usually called a few times a week. He hadn't called at all this week. That thought nearly caused her to burst out crying right then, but she distracted herself by focusing on Emma's hair, pretending that her eyes were not misting up with tears. No, she would not let that effect her. He was just busy, he wouldn't forget to call her. He loved her. Right?

"There you go baby." Alice told Emma, finishing her hair.

"Thank you Mum-_ cough- _can I go play with Alex and Uncle Liam?" She asked.

"Of course you can, you don't need to ask!"

Emma smiled to herself happily and wiggled out of Alice's lap, stumbling when she fell to the floor and grabbing onto the table to steady herself. Then she quickly ran over to Liam and Alex, Liam quickly swooped down and placed her on her shoulders, while she laughed giddily. Alex meanwhile looked rather disgruntled.

"Mum! I don't want to play with Emma!"

For a boy that used to dote on his younger sister so much…

"Why not?" Alice demanded.

"Cause she's a girl! Girls don't play football!"

"Yes they do, Alex. Now don't be unfair, play with Emma."

"But _Mum-"_

"No But's with me mister! You either play with Liam AND Emma, or you don't play at all."

Alex made a face and kicked the ball extra hard, and it coincidentally just missed Emma, who was holding onto Liam's shoulders for dear life as the ball whizzed past her. Liam quickly stepped back so it didn't hit her and then gave Alex a stern look. Alice was fuming, and was all set to go over there and really tell him off, when Nomsa appeared on the veranda, calling for her. Alex sighed in relief and ran over to fetch his football, glad he had escaped from his mums temper.

"Alice? Phone for you." Nomsa said.

Alice's heart leapt to her throat, "Is it Danny?"

Nomsa smiled, "Yes."

Alice grinned and made her way to the office. Her heart was beating in her chest at a hundred miles per hour. Danny had called. Danny did still care. Danny hadn't forgotten her. Danny did still love her. Of course he must've just been busy. He'd tell her what was so important soon. There was no way…

"Danny?" She grabbed the phone and pressed it painfully against her ear, as though she didn't believe it was real.

"Alice?" His voice seeped through the phone.

Her legs almost gave way, she quickly sat down, trying to smooth the smile from her face. God, how desperate did she sound? Alice cleared her throat and tried to settle her racing heartbeat. Which was a hard thing to do since just his voice instantly drove her heart crazy.

"How are you?" She asked airily.

"I'm really good, how are you? And the kids?"

"I'm…" She struggled for the right word. "Fine." She lied, "And the kids… well, Charlotte's acting a bit iffy, Alex is being unusually troublesome, and Emma…" Alice trailed off, biting her lip.

"Alice, I've told you, there's nothing wrong with Emma. She's just more open to-"

"I know," Alice snapped, "You've mentioned it a thousand times. But a mother knows when something's not right Danny, and something isn't!"

He went quiet for a moment and Alice realised that she was fuming. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself. But she couldn't help it. How could Danny be so idiotic? No normal healthy child got so many infections and had so many coughing issues, and they wouldn't be so thin and fragile. Granted, Emma wasn't perfectly healthy. But she was healthy enough. She shouldn't be so… ill all the time.

"How's Rosie, and Max?"

"Haven't you spoke to them?"

"Not lately, no."

She frowned, "They're fine."

"And Sam and Evan? Bryce? Baby number two?"

"Fine, too." She replied curtly. Why hadn't he spoke to them?

"Liv?"

"Danny, she's fine! If she wasn't, I would have said something." She took a deep breath, trying to control herself. Again. "When are you coming back, Danny?"

"I… don't know."

"What are you doing out in England anyway?"

"Alice, I can't-"

"Why not?" She demanded, the anger flaring up inside her again, "For gods sake Danny, I'm your wife, and the mother of two of your children if you'd forgotten, I think I have the right to know!"

"Alice, I just.. I can't!"

Tears pricked her eyes, "Do I really mean that little to you then Danny? Do you not care? All I know is that you've been out in England for _months, _and I get is a phone call here and there? What about the kids? Do you think they're okay with the fact that their Dad has just ran off? How do you think I feel, Danny? I don't know what I'm doing anymore. What do you think it's like for me? Do you think I'm okay with it? Not knowing where you are or what you're doing while you're in a completely different county doing god knows what and not willing to tell me? Do you think it's easy for me? Running the animal hospital on my own while looking after a constantly ill daughter, a troublesome son and a moody teenager? Well it's not, Danny! And all I get is a 'I don't know when I'm coming home', 'How are the kids?', 'I can't tell you Alice, I'm sorry'. SORRY? Is that what you are? Well it doesn't seem like it to me Danny-"

"Alice-"

"Save it for someone who gives a damn!" She snapped, throwing the phone down on the cradle so hard that it launched back off it again.

She impatiently placed it back on the cradle and leaned back in her seat, another fresh round of tears swimming in her eyes, she hastily rubbed at her eyes, exhaling lowly. God, she was angry. She couldn't believe it, the nerve he had! He had left months ago yet he still felt he had the right to know what was going on when he didn't bother to call? And how could he not care about Emma, his own daughter? She had told him everything she had noticed that was strange about Emma, but he didn't care! He had bigger things to worry about in England! Far more important than Emma!

Alice ran her hands over her face wearily, the lines of age and stress beginning to mark themselves on her face. When had her life gone so wrong? Had she done something? No, it was all Danny. His fault. Pushing up from the chair, she smiled and walked out of the room.

But her sapphire blue eyes, once dancing with life and contentment, were completely dead.

**

* * *

**

Danny sighed as the dial tone went dead. She'd hung up. He placed the phone down gently and sat back, shocked by her words.

"Who was that?"

He turned around, should he tell her?

"Nobody." He told her, "Nobody that matters."

* * *

A/N: Let me know what you think! I'm not too happy with this update. Writers block makes it difficult. Ugh.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Staying Strong.**_

_Three Days Later._

"Thanks, Rosie." Alice said, throwing her gloves in the bin. "I really didn't mean to rope you into this."

Rosie laughed, "Are you kidding? I am a vet, you know, Alice. I don't mind!"

Alice smiled politely but she did still feel guilty. Rosie and Max had visited to come see everyone, yet Rosie had just helped her operate on a Goat! Maybe she was just being a little sensitive or something at the moment, but guilt was swallowing her whole. Rosie and Max loved the family, and they had come here to see them- and Alice knew what it was like not to see someone you loved…

Rosie watched knowingly as Alice went quiet when she placed the equipment away. Rosie had grown close to Alice, very close. They were more best friends than stepmother and stepdaughter. So Rosie knew when something was up with Alice. Alice may think that she could disguise things a lot, maybe she could do sometimes, but not when she was hurting. Usually in her eyes there would be that gleam of happiness, of contentment. But that had vanished into thin air, being replaced only with lifeless and dull eyes. Even the way she acted now was different. She started to keep herself to herself lately, didn't really talk much, not about how she was feeling, anyway. It was always the kids or the animals. Nothing more.

Rosie wasn't stupid. She knew what was up with Alice. It was Danny. Rosie didn't know why her Dad had gone out the England, in fact, it had been totally out of the blue, one day he just announced it and two days later he was gone, with no explanations. Rosie had heard the arguments between Alice and Danny- Alice had wanted to go with him. _'I can't be where you aren't, Danny.' _That was the thing that had hit Rosie the most, when she had eavesdropped on one of their arguments before he left. Rosie didn't have any idea why he didn't want Alice to go along, either, and, judging by how Alice had been lately, Danny hadn't told Alice why he had gone, either.

Rosie never thought that she would see the day where Danny wouldn't tell Alice anything. They were as thick as thieves, them two, and they told each other everything. And she couldn't imagine them being without each other, but her Dad had been gone for months now- and, as much as she hated the thought, Rosie didn't suspect that Danny was planning on returning anytime soon, either. She didn't know if he would come back at all.

She knew how much this was hurting Alice. It must've been driving her crazy. It was driving Rosie crazy enough as it was! And she suspected that Alice had been having these same thoughts- would Danny ever come back? Rosie hadn't any contact from her Dad since he had left, at all. And, despite Max's encouragements to ring him, she refused to speak to him. She had told him, in private before he left, that if he really cared he would make the effort. And he didn't. Make the effort. Therefore he didn't care. Why should she make the effort? He wanted to leave them all with no reasons!

And didn't he realise ho bereft Alice was without him? Didn't he care about her? Love her?

"Having fun there?" Alice asked, turning around, she had sensed Rosie's eyes on her for the past five minutes.

"What? Oh. Sorry." Rosie blushed, looking down, "No, wait." She stopped, and looked up at Alice, "There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about, Alice."

Alice tilted her head to the side questioningly, "What is it?"

Rosie smiled, "Not here, let's… let's go for a drive." Rosie didn't want to talk to Alice about it in a place where anyone could walk in and disrupt them!

"Ooh, I'm scared now." Alice teased.

Rosie smiled half-heartedly back at her.

**-xoxo-**

Danny heard the slam of the door that indicated that she had left. Danny swallowed the guilt that washed over him, but he couldn't help it. What with everything that had been going on. And Alice's last phone call… He had no idea what he was going to do. How did he tell her? What would she do? Say?

Danny put his head in his hands and exhaled deeply. He was torn between what he wanted and what he needed.

He felt so lonely. The house was too big, too lonely, too quiet. He'd inherited it from his Mum when she had died so suddenly a year ago. He hadn't said anything to anyone apart from Alice about it. Though he hadn't mentioned the house. The lonely four-bed roomed house that he had in inherited. It had slipped his mind, hadn't seemed important.

Well, it hadn't then.

There was a timid knock at the door, "Danny? Let me in. I'm sorry. I overreacted."

Danny sighed and stood, walking over to the door and counting down from ten before opening the door. She stood there in all her blonde beauty and her pleading eyes, and he couldn't say no to her. So stepping aside, he allowed her to walk back in.

**-xoxo- **

"Rosie." Alice whispered, "Not here."

"Why not?" Rosie asked deceptively.

Alice looked at her with hurt-filled eyes, tears almost brimming over the edges. Rosie had drove her to the animal copy. To her and Danny's special place. Rosie knew that she would have to face it one day. She couldn't just keep avoiding the place. Alice couldn't keep side-stepping everything, she needed to face the music!

Alice closed her eyes, "You know why Rosie, don't play stupid." She snapped, "Now take me somewhere else."

"No."

Alice's eyes snapped open, "You can't keep me here, Rosie."

"Alice you can't just…" She stopped when Alice climbed from the jeep and started to storm off into the bush "Alice! Where are you going?"

"Away!"

Rosie jumped out of the jeep and raced after her. Alice didn't have the energy to barely put one foot in front of the other yet along run from her. Alice knew she was being childish, it was only an animal copy, after all. Only the animal copy that both her and Danny had declared their love for one another. Yeah, no big deal, not at all!

Rosie caught Alice's arm, and Alice nearly crumpled underneath it, "God, Alice!" She gasped, "What the hell do you think you're playing at? You can barely even stand!"

"I haven't slept well these past few nights, it's nothing-" Alice started weakly.

"Oh for crying out loud, Alice!" Rosie cried, "Stop side-stepping everything! I may not be here every day, but I do talk to everyone here, you know. I do talk to people like Liam! And Liam, he's like you're best friend, and he's been telling me about how you're coping Alice, about how he's worried about you, how everyone is." Rosie added softly, "Now just sit down, and talk to me, Alice, please."

Alice looked up at Rosie. And for one moment Rosie didn't recognise her at all. Her long black hair fell limply to her waist, her dark blue eyes were tired and dull, her once flawless face was beginning to be lined with stress and she just looked so defeated, so lifeless. Rosie didn't even dare reach out and hug her for comfort, for fear that she would just break by her touch.

"What does it matter anymore? Danny doesn't love me."

**A/N: Eeep, I haven't wrote in ages :/ I apologize *gets on knees* I beg of you to forgive me? Next chapter is the Rosie/Alice talk :3 & maybe some more about where Danny is/what he's doing… if I'm feeling friendly. Though I'm pretty sure youse all have suspicions of your own! Oh, and, because I'm feeling nice, after the next chapter, you'll find out what's up with Charlotte. Here's a clue; What's the one thing that would break Alice the most when she's not loved? ;] Mwuhaha. Youse probably won't get it. I'm not good at giving clues. **

**I don't get reviews on for 'I'm just like you' anymore D: **

**Forever alone. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Staying Strong**

**"Please don't be in love with someone else,  
Please don't have somebody waiting on you."  
- Enchanted, Taylor Swift.**

Eventually, Rosie managed to get Alice to calm down and sit back down in the jeep. Rosie knew that Alice had to 'face the music', as the saying went, sooner or later. Becase really, Rosie thought that Alice was king of losing it. And she had kids to think about. Okay, she herself didn't need taking care of. But she needed a mother figure to talk too. And okay, Charlotte was legally an adult now, but she needed her mum a lot more than she thought that she did. Especially now. And Alex and Emma needed their Mum to be strong for them, especially since their Dad didn't seem to have any intention of coming home.

Alice didn't say a word and just stared ahead, gathering her thoughts. What was she supposed to say to Rosie? Danny's left and I've lost all hope of coping? No. What would Rosie think of her then? A stupid, needy, whiny excuse for a mum.

"Rosie, can we just... leave it. Please."

Rosie shook her head, "No, Alice. You can't just keep running away from it."

Alice shrugged, "Well what do you want me to say? I miss Danny. I'm only human."

Rosie sighed. This was typical of Alice. She was always putting up a front, never letting anybody in. Rosie wondered if her Dad had ever had this problem with Alice, trying to get her to open up. (No wonder it had taken them so long to admit their feelings to each other!) Or maybe... Alice had let Danny in, let him see how she was feeling. And maybe that was why she was so guarded to everyone else, because the one person she had trusted had left her.

"But you're not coping Alice. Do you even speak to my Dad anymore?"

"Do you?" Alice returned bitterly.

Rosie looked down, "No." She replied quietly, "But this isn't about me."

When Rosie next looked up she saw Alice's look of surprise. But Alice quickly masked it when she noticed that Rosie was looking at her again. Alice looked away, staring out at her and Danny's copy. And suddenly, her face crumpled.

"I miss him Rosie. I miss him so much. And so do the kids. He doesn't even ask to speak to them, you know. And he doesn't seem to care about them at all. Especially Emma, he just says that I'm being paranoid. And he rarely calls anymore!" She exclaimed, and added quietly, "It's like he doesn't love me anymore."

Alice's hands shook in her lap as she spoke, and she forced herself not to cry. She couldn't- didn't- cry in front of people. Ever. Let alone her stepdaughter for christs sake! She had rarely even cried in front of Danny. So she didn't know what was wrong with her lately. But she was getting better at battling the tears that sprung to her eyes. Well, usually. Not this time. She just burst out into embarrassing, loud soubs that were so hard it caused her whole body to heave with each one. And quickly, Rosie grabbed Alice and held her close. Letting her cry on her shoulder. Rosie didn't care that her shirt was gradually growing soaked, and that this was her stepmum who was crying, and most people would find it weird. Alice had always been there for her. So why couldn't she be there for her in return?

"Let it all out Alice, don't hold back." She murmured.

Alice mumbled something but she was sobbing too heavily for Rosie to be able to understand what she had just said. So Rosie just held her comfortingly until she was all cried out. This took ages, obviously. Alice had just been bottling everything up inside her since Danny had left for England without an excuse. And bottling everything up wasn't any good. Rosie knew this from personal experience. When she and Max had been told that they were unable to have children... well, at first she hadn't said anything. Just like when she'd had her first miscarriage. She'd just gone on with life, almost robotically, and it felt like she wasn't really living... like she was some sort of zombie. Just this thought made Rosie squeeze her eyes shut tight. Now wasn't the time for her to cry... she was trying to get Alice to open up. She was just bottling everything up.

But Rosie knew now that that wasn't any good to do. It was always better to tell how you were feeling. Sure, nobody would ever really understand the pain of having two miscarriages and then being told that you would never be able to have children. But they could empathize with you. And sure, you never wanted anybodys pity. But at least that meant people were there for you if you wanted to get something off of your chest. And you always felt better when you got something off your chest. Hey, a problem shared was a problem halved, right?

Alice sniffed, she'd stopped sobbing, and then asked quietly, "Rosie, what do you think he's doing in England?"

Rosie froze, "I..."

Alice pulled away, and held a hand up, "You know what, don't even worry... I know what everyone thinks."

"Alice-"

"It's what I think, too." Alice admitted in a voice that was no more than a whisper.

Rosie's face softened, "Oh, Alice... I'm sure it's not. I'm sure there's an explanation."

Alice shook her head, her eyes still red-rimmed and blotchy, her blue eyes still dead, "I hope there is. But it's the only reason I can think of. And I pray every night that that's not what it is. That Danny still loves me and that there would never _ever _be anyone else." Alice laughed bitterly, "It's funny, because years ago he thought that _I _was cheating on _him... _and it makes me feel sick, that he could, if he is, do that, if he knew the pain of thinking that somebody's..." Alice stopped, "You know, just forget it."

"Alice-"

"Seriously, Rosie, I'm fine."

Rosie grabbed her hands, "See, that's just it! You're _fine. _You're not great, but you're not bad either... you're just fine. And that's the worst feeling in the world."

**A/N: I know it's short. But hey, at least it's an update eh? I know I don't usually have chapter songs for this fic. But that song.. I want to marry it. And it describes whats going on in Alice's head ;) Next chapter you find out whats going on with Charlotte! Nobody's guessed it yet ;D (Nope, she's not preggers! But that's all I'm willing to say!) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Staying Strong**

The drive back to Leopards Den was long and silent. Well, apart from the few sniffs that came from Alice as she tried to reign some control over her tears again. Her efforts were futile though, as her salty tears continued to trickle down her cheeks uncontrollably and, it seemed, with no intention to stop anytime soon. She tried to think about something else, about the animals she needed to operate on maybe, or what to get Charlotte for her upcoming birthday, but her mind was all over the place and she couldn't really concentrate on any of these things, apart from her conversation with Rosie which was still fresh in her mind.

Rosie did feel slightly guilty after seeing Alice weep so bad like she had just done. But there was nothing else she could do. Alice had needed to get it all out of her system, hadn't she? And it had helped, hadn't it? Well, maybe... But by the time they reached Leopards Den, the contrast between the sobbing Alice and the one now was startling. Her barriers had been down and every emotion that she had kept bottled up had flooded out, but now... now she had gone back into Zombie mode. She was just _fine _again. Her eyes bleak, lifeless, her face stony, expressionless, and she didn't walk with any purpose.

As Alice started to walk back up the stairs to Leopards Den without saying a word to Rosie, Rosie quickly jumped out of the jeep and ran after her, and grabbed her wrist. Alice turned to face her, staring definatly in her eyes, almost challenging her. Rosie needn't say a thing though, Alice understood, it was like some message had passed from that look. Rosie held her gaze for merely a few seconds, though they were the most serious seconds of her life, before releasing Alice's wrist. Alice didn't say anything but clenched her jaw, and walked away, leaving Rosie standing with her arms crossing her chest staring after her scornfully.

Alice stalked through Leopards Den noisily. She appeared as though she was fuming, each step on the wooden floor of Leopards Den resonating through the omnious silent air, but she wasn't fuming. Not really. Maybe she was a little angry, but not at Rosie, as Rosie might think, and she felt a little guilty about how she had treated Rosie when all she was obviously trying to do was help. But no, Alice wasn't angry at Rosie, not really. She was angry at herself. Was she really that see-through? How had Rosie known that she wasn't okay? And how could she have just broken down like that in front of Rosie? She was supposed to be strong!

Alice rounded the corner and bumped into Charlotte, "Jesus, Charlie!" She cried, "Watch where you're going will you?"

Charlotte's eyes narrowed at her mums snappiness, "Well excuse me for breathing!" She retorted, pushing past her- making sure to knock her Mum's shoulder as she passed.

"Er, excuse me Lady!" Alice seethed at her daughters attitude, and followed her, into Charlotte's room. Emma sat on her bed, drawing, but looked up when her moody sister and her angry mum burst into the room. "Who do you think you're talking to?" Alice demanded.

"You, actually!" Charlotte cried, flopping down on her bed in a sulk.

Alice was gobsmacked, "Don't you dare talk to me like i'm some piece of dirt, Charlotte!"

"Why not?" Charlotte replied sulkily. "You let Danny treat you like a piece of dirt."

Alice was literally fuming now. It was almost as if steam was coming out of her ears and she struggled to reign in her temper, and at the same time she found it hard to push away the tears that formed at the corners of her eyes at Charlotte's comment. Charlotte was right, obviously. Alice did allow Danny to walk all over her. But not anymore! She'd let her guard down way to much with Danny and she wasn't going to let that happen- ever- again!

Alice stormed over to Charotte's bed, oblivious to a teary Emma watching behind them. She hated seeing her Mum and sister argue, it hurt her insides. But Alice was completely oblivious and all she could see was red. She was in a complete rage. How dare Charlotte say things like that? They were supposed to have an unconditional love, she was her mother for christs sake! But Charlotte really did treat her like she was nothing to her, like she hadn't raised her alone for the first ten years of her life, like she hadn't fallen out with her family over being pregnant with her- Alice had given up so much for Charlotte! And she treated her like nothing! And she was completely sick and tired of it, especially with Danny thinking he could treat her like nothing!

"What. Did. You. Just. Say." Alice said between gritted teeth, clenching her fists and struggling to hold her temper in.

"Mummy." She heard Emma's quiet plead behind her but was too wound up to notice her.

"I said," Charlotte sneered, "That you let Danny treat you like a piece of dirt."

"I think you might want to take that comment back young lady, incase you forgot, i'm your mother and you will treat me with some respect! I have loved you despite-"

"Yeah well I don't need your _love," _Charlotte said almost patroninsingly.

Alice's eyes narrowed, "Oh, and what do you mean by that?"

Charlotte seemed to have a complete mood swing then as she suddenly swallowed and tugged on the corner of her pillow, an action which didn't go unnoticed by Alice, and caused her to frown in thought. She remembered Charlotte stuffing something underneath there a few days ago when she had walked in with Charlotte, and then being unnessarily snappy after that. What was going on with Charlotte?

"What are you hiding, Charlotte?" Alice demanded.

"Nothing!" Charlotte cried, too quickly to be innocent.

"What are you hiding?" Alice noticed that Charlotte's grip on her pillow tightened.

"Nothing!" Charlotte insisted.

Very suddenly, Alice lunged at Charlotte's pillow. Charlotte yelped and dived on her pillow, clutching it to her chest. Alice had a tight grip on the pillow and this action caused her to tumble down on the bed with Charlotte. She tried to pull the pillow to her but Charlotte held on tight with a white-knuckle grip, her teeth gritted. Alice yanked on the pillow, but the material slipped between her fingers and her elbow shot back and hit the wall. Alice yelped and Charlotte tried to jump up but Alice jumped at her, knocking her to the ground, wrestling for this pillow that seemed to be so important to Charlotte.

Charlotte and Alice both yanked on it at the same time, with such strength, that suddenly the pillow ripped into two pieces and two things fluttered out: a letter... and a ring.

Alice grabbed both and rolled from Charlotte, sitting up immeadaitely and her eyes scanned the letter unbelievably. Charlotte seemed to take longer to recover, her face pale and still clutching onto her half of the pillow. She swallowed and looked around, seeing Emma sitting on her bed, hugging her knees, tears in her eyes. Charlotte always felt guilty. She loved her litte sister, and her little brother, and her Mum, well everyone, so much. But she had just been so conflicted lately...

Alice's mouth was open and she resembled a goldfish. Two things stood out to her in the letter. _I know we were only together for a month and you didn't want to introduce me to your parents but, i love you, _and,_ marry me, Charlotte Collins. _

Alice looked up at her daughter open mouthed, "What... is this?" She squeaked.

"What, jealous?" Charlotte snapped. Sarcasm was always her best way of defending herself, "Just cause Danny doesn't love you anymore doesn't mean I can't find love myself!"

Alice blinked, still not comprehending the situation.

"Suppose you're going to run off and tell Danny? But he won't _care _will he? He never cared about any of us, _especially you-"_

That was when Alice's temper snapped, and before she knew it she had slapped her daughter fully around the face, the sound echoing in her mind to never be forgotten of the failed mother she felt she had become.

* * *

**A/N: **So that's Charlotte's secret! None of you guessed it:) I feel so smart. Oh and Ta very much Chloe for help with this chapter! :D xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Staying Strong.**

Alice sat opposite Mr Crowley, the headteacher at Alex and Emma's school, with Alice sat on the chair beside her. Alex sat boredly, swinging his legs with no pattern to it, and playing with the hem of his light blue school shirt impatiently. He was looking around everything in the room besides looking at his Mum. Alice's jaw was set, her sapphire blue eues furious as she listened to Mr Crowley, disgusted at what she was having to hear Mr Crowley repoty about her eight year old son.

"In a situation like this, I have no choice but to suspend Alex for the rest of the week." Mr Crowley was telling her calmly, his face impassive. "Usually I would not consider taking such an action on such a young pupil, but he _did _break Liu's arm, and Liu has many serious cuts and bruises; so I honestly have no other choice."

Alice nodded, "I undersand completely. I am so, so sorry for Alex's behaviour- I honestly don't know what's gotten into him!"

Beside her, Alex mumbled grumpily, "I am here y'know."

Alice's head snapped round to him, "Do not even speak right now mister, you are in _serious _trouble!" She told him sternyly, just about managing to reign in her temper in front of Alex's headteacher.

Alex simply crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly, grumbling. His knuckles were grazed, small bruises forming over his hands. It seemed to Alice as if Alex felt no remorse for attacking defencless little seven year old Liu at breaktime, and it appeared, for no legimate reason. Alex had grumbled something along the lines of 'he annoyed me' and then had sat in annoyanc when Mr Crowley had explained the situation to Alice.

"I'm sorry to have suspended him thought, Mrs Trevanion, usually I wouldn't take such actions..." Mr Crowley glanced at Alex wistfully, leaning forward on his desk with his hands clasped together in a professional manner. ""I hope o see better of you when you come back. You're better than this, Alex. You're a lovely, smart boy and getting into fights for no reason is unlike you. Can you promise me that this won't happen again? Or you'll at least try to be normal again when you coem back, eh?"

Alex shrugged and sniffed, "Don't have any choice." He muttered.

"Alex." Alice warned him frustratedly.

He shifted in his chair slightly, "Fine. Yes. I promise."

* * *

Neither Alice or Alex said anything on the trip from the headteachers office back to the jeep. Alex knew that he was in serious trouble but didn't seem to be scared at all, and strode ahead of Alice with his head held high. All this seemed to have given him some form of confidence boost, Alice thought bitterly. She knew that Alex was becoming a bit of troublemaker lately. He had always been fien when Danny had been around, he had been the best little boy any mother could ask for. But it had all gone downhill since Danny had jetted off to England. Alex was a huge Daddy's boy, so she knew that it would effect him a lot. But she had tried, and she just couldn't understand why her little boy was acting like this. Of course he missed his Dad but that was no excuse for beating up another pupiil- breaking the other pupil's arm in the process!

Alex jumped into the jeep with a spring in his step, tossing his school bag on the seat next to him, opting to choose on the seat furthest away from Alice as possible. Alice climbed in, mind still whirring, and turned the jeep on. She drove in silence with Alex on the way back to Leopards Den- Alex knew better than to say anything, and instead watched the african landscape as they sped on.

A small tear trickled down Alice's face as she sat deep in thought.

* * *

_The whole place was silent. It was as if time had stood still. The only sounds were the ragged breaths of Charlotte and Alice. Emma sat on her bed, eyes wide, terrified._

_It was Charlotte who spoke first. "I hate you." She whispered, her voice laced in malice._

_

* * *

_

Alice pulled up in front of Leopards Den and climbed from the jeep, Alex picked up his schoolbag and followed his mum into Leopards Den, albeit timidly now. As if he was slowly starting to realise what trouble he was in. Caroline and Nomsa were sat on the veranda, chatting, and instantly stopped when they saw Alice storming towards Leopards Den with Alex in tow. They all knew that Alice had been called up the school, they just didn't know why. And judging by the look on Alice's face, now really wasn't the time to ask.

"Go to your room, Alex." Alice told her son, and he nodded and scuttled off.

Alice followed him into his room, and began picking up all his games, his DS, unplugged his TV, his DVDs, his toys, oblivious to Alex whining behind her, still thinking.

* * *

_Charlotte was first to move, too. She grabbed her letter, and her ring, and tossed them on her bed. She then grabbed a suitcase from inside her wardrobe and started throwing clothes in there, and other necessities. All the while Alice just watched her, frozen, staring at the red mark on her cheek. The red mark on her daughters cheek. The red mark that she had put there._

_

* * *

_

"Mum! You can't take all of that away! I won't have anything to do!" Alex protested.

"You need to learn." Alice muttered.

* * *

_Charlotte turned to her once she was finished packing, staring at Alice with such hate that Alice couldn't bear it. She didn't need Charlotte to hate her, anyway. She hated herself enough already. How could she have let things turn so bad? When had she **changed? **What had become of her?_

_"I hope you go to hell." Charlotte muttered._

_

* * *

_

"Dad wouldn't do this! He'd understand!" Alex moaned.

Alice whirled around on the spot, "WELL YOUR DAD ISN'T HERE ALEX! DEAL WITH IT! I'VE HAD TO!"

* * *

_Alice looked down at her hand, the hand that had slapped Charlotte. Her own daughter. Her first daughter. The daughter that she had relied on so much before she had come to Leopards Den. And she felt fury boil up inside of her. It wasn't just herself that she hated. It was this place, too. It had infected her- poisoned her. She had been happy with Charlotte, on her own. And then she had met Danny. And everything changed. All because she was a fool for Danny. But where was he now? Nowhere to be seen. **He didn't care.**_

_"You messed up my childhood." Charlotte told Alice, "Don't mess up Emma's and Alex's too."_

_Charlotte stormed out from the room._

_

* * *

_

Alex recoiled, taking one step back and staring at his Mum with wide eyes. He swallowed nervously. Alice was so angry, eyes blazing, face set in nothing but fury. He hardly recognised his Mum nowadays. He had always been a Daddy's boy, he'd loved his Dad so much. And then his Dad had gone, and his Mum didn't know where. And he hated them. Both of them. He felt betrayed. He didn't know who to turn to anymore. And all this anger was built up inside of him, and it had to be released in some way- and that was in the form of violence.

Now, Alex guessed that he had gained it from his Mum. His violent side. Emma had told him all about Charlotte and his Mum. And then Emma had told Bryce, and Bryce had told Rosie and Max. And they had told Dupe and Caroline. And everyone knew but his Dad. Alex thought his Dad deserved to know. Did his Dad know how violent his Mum was? _Why _had he left them alone with her?

"Okay." Alex finally whispered, tears pricking his eyes.

Alice's face crumpled up as she realised her son was afraid of her. She turned around and plugged the TV in, "You can watch this." She told him hoarsely, and then fled from the room, ashamed.

She ran into her room and locked the door behind her, and threw herself onto her bed. She lay staring up at the plain white ceiling for some time, a few tears silently falling down her cheeks. And then she hunched up in a ball on her side, crying into her pillow.

* * *

_Alice didn't move for what felt like hours. And when she finally managed to understand what had just happened, she ran out to the veranda. Charlotte had already gone._

_She turned and walked back into Leopards Den, the tears falling thickly now, blurring her vision. Her tiny little Emma poked her head around her doorframe, and then quickly disappeared. Alice headed into her room, needing to hold her Emma. She needed to know that she would be able to put something right. She needed to make Emma's life better than Charlotte's. It was her own fault Charlotte was so messed up._

_Emma stared up at her with scared eyes, "You're not going to hit me too, are you, Mummy?" She whispered in fright._

_

* * *

_

Alice felt like she was choking on her sobs. She could hear Dupe knocking loudly on her door, calling her, asking her if she was okay, asking her to let him in. But she just forced the pillow over her ears to block them out, tears dripping from her eyes, sobs forcing her body to shudder in such violent shakes.

* * *

_She hated herself._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: Well, there's a lot more doom and gloom than I intended. Hm. I hope the writings okay it's a bit rushed and weird to write on my blackberry!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Staying Strong**

**~In the last chapter I wrote Rosie & Max instead of Sam & Evan. How silly of me~**

**So, funny story, I was gonna write a oneshot based around ep 5 spoilers and then this happened. I will try and write that, and I most likely will cos- MY LAPTOPS FIXED! Praise the lord and shiz. ****You're lucky I'm in a good mood. When I first wrote this I killed Alice. Seriously. But then I realised that just ruined the whole story and if you re-read the summary it says someone from her past makes her question the life she lives or something ; ) and so I re-wrote this. **

Alice wasn't quite sure how long that she lay there for. Well, she didn't exactly lay on her bed. She had what you could call a tantrum. Alice sobbed into her pillow, sometimes she even screamed, throwing her body around randomly on the bed and thrashing her legs violently, her body heaving as each sob rolled through her. Oh, she stayed there for hours, she could tell you that. And most people thought it was impossible to cry for that long. But you could. And she did. Even Dupe gave up after a while, his knocking eventually coming to an end and not bothering to ask her to come out anymore. Alice knew that they would all think that she was being childish. But they didn't understand- they didn't live the life that she had to right now.

Her heart ached for everything she loved, for everything that she had lost. She had lost her husband, her one true love, her soul-mate, Danny. Well, people claimed that she hadn't, that sure, Danny would come home, that there was a reason behind staying over in England. But she knew in her heart that he was never coming back. And oh, how that hurt. It hurt more than anything she had ever felt in her life. Like a thousand knives piercing through her heart instantaneously. For a moment, it was almost as if she couldn't breathe, as she thought of the fact that Danny had maybe found someone better than her like she had alwys thought he would, that she had hit her eldest daughter and now Charlotte was running off to get married, her son had lost all respect for her and was maybe even slightly frightened of her; and her little baby Emma was ill- just nobody else could tell. It took a while for Alice to realise that she was choking on her sobs.

Alice gasped and shot upright on the bed, eyes looking around wildly, breathing shallow, fingers clutching the bed sheets tightly. She swallowed, forcing her pulse, which had been throbbing from her neck, to slow down, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. No, there was no point getting into this state. She wouldn't be able to think properly. She needed to focus. There was lost hope for Danny, but she was going to fight damn hard for her children.

* * *

Both Bryce and Emma came running through the hallways of Leopards Den at the same time, though admittedly Bryce was albeit faster than his Aunt. This was because of Emma's tiny frame, her short little legs, not giving her as much power as Bryce had. Also, Bryce was a boy, and hey they just seemed to run faster. They sped through the hallways, schoolbags deposited haphazardly across the floor, giggling and yelling as children do. Emma's hand reached out, her fingertips brushing with the smooth fabric of Bryce's school shirt- all she had to do was push just a little harder off the floor, then she'd catch him, then he'd be it for once...

Bryce sped around the corner with a sudden burst of strength, laughing when he heard Emma's whine of frustration. As he rounded the corner, he ran straight into the legs of his Mum, Sam, bouncing straight off them in shock and falling onto the floor. As Emma made it round the corner, she was too late to see that Bryce had fell over, and ended up falling over him. She landed hard on the wooden floor and a whoosh of air escaped her lungs.

There was silence for a moment, before both five-year-olds burst into a fit of giggles, much to Sam's relief. Both Bryce and Emma picked themselves up, Bryce's dark brown eyes lighting up as he laughed. Sam ruffled both their dark brown hair, "Y'alright you two?" She asked them, smiling.

Bryce and Emma nodded, "We're playing it, but you got in the way, Mummy." Bryce told her.

"I'm glad you did because Bryce is very quick and I am very little so I can't catch up." Emma confessed.

Bryce rolled his eyes, "Well then be faster, duh." He said.

Emma frowned at him, "I can't." She told him quietly.

Sam broke up the little, silly debate. "Everyone runs at different speeds, Bryce, people can run faster than you so don't be horrible. Anyway, when did you two get home from school?" She asked.

"Just now, Nana picked us up." Bryce told her, referring to Caroline.

Emma frowned, "Sam, why isn't Caroline _my _Nana?"

Sam sighed, "Well, it's because Caroline is Evan's Nan, which also makes her Bryce's Nan because Evan is Bryce's Daddy." She explained as simply as she could.

Both Bryce and Emma nodded slowly, "Where's Mummy?" Emma asked suddenly, sapphire eyes wide and innocent.

Sam held out her hand, "C'mon, she's in her room."

* * *

Alice lay motionlessly on her bed, staring at the wall opposite her with a blank expression on her face, her broken blue eyes glassy, tears no longer running down her face. The tantrum was over, of course, and now she was so, so tired from all the energy she had wasted on it. But she needed it. She had needed to release all the jumbled up emotions that had been scattered around inside her, confusing her, almost taunting her, telling her to break down. Alice screwed her eyes shut tight, almost painfully and uttered four words under her breath, "I will not breakdown."

There was a gentle knock on the door, pulling Alice from her reverie. She sat up slowly as the door creaked open, Emma and Sam's heads peeking around the door to check that she was actually awake and they hadn't woke her. Alice gave them a friendly smile, as good as she could muster, and opened her arms out for Emma. Emma flew over and flung herself into Alice's arms, and Alice held her close, breathing deeply, battling away the tears that were still threatening to spill over.

Alice looked up when she noticed a tinge of orange in the corner of her eye to see Sam still standing in the doorway, grinning. Alice smiled back warmly at her as Emma fidgeted in her lap, and then patted the bed beside her. Sam followed Alice's gesture and sat down beside them, tugging on one of Emma's long brown plaits playfully. Emma grinned at her sort-of-sister-in-law and tugged her hair in return. Alice smirked, and turned to Sam.

"So, Sam, when are you going back out to England?"

Sam shrugged, "Me and Evan were thinking about in the next month or so, I know I'm only four months gone but I really don't want to take any risks." Sam told her.

Alice nibbled on her lip, "How about next week?"

Sam stared at Alice with her large brown eyes, eyebrows knotted together in confusion, "Why? Can you not wait to get rid of us?"

Alice strained a smile, "No, no, it's just..." Alice looked down at Emma, who stared back at her with her cloned eyes, "I was just thinking of going to England, taking Emma and Alex with me."

"You want to find Danny." Sam stated.

Alice nodded.

"What about Charlotte?"

A tear slipped from Alice's eye almost immeadiately, a sad look crossed upon Emma's face and with her dainty fingers and wiped it away, causing Alice to giggle. Emma grinned. Alice sighed, and turned to Sam to answer her question, "I don't know where she is, Sam. I have no way of contacting her. And I'm tired. I am so, so tired." She whispered, "I need to find Danny. I need to find out what's going on with him. He'll be easier to find, because at least I can phone him." Alice murmured, and sniffed, "Then maybe I'll have a chance of finding Charlotte."

She never noticed Sam look down guiltily in the corner of her eye.


	9. Chapter 9

**Staying Strong**

**~ I know Sam's supposed to be quite a daydreamer character, slightly dumb really, I want her to be someone who notices things. I like those people. They may not be smart, but they notice things. Just to explain, if you're wondering why the hell Sam seems to get really clued up about everything one some point ~  
**

**

* * *

**

Alice watched as Sam slowly slipped from the room, allowing her some private time with Emma. She stared down at her darling daughters face, her blue eyes startlingly the exact shade as hers, though wide and innocent, naive because they hadn't seen what the world was really like yet. She grinned up at Alice, little white teeth gleaming, poking her tongue through the gap that was there where one of her teeth had fallen out. Her long dark brown hair, tied in plaits, were messy, stray strands of hair sticking out at odd edges, yet still she wore them in the plaits, tied with little red hairbands as it came to a stop halfway down her back. She was gorgeous, her little Emma. She was so, so gorgeous. Alice smoothed a thumb over her cheek, Emma still grinning.

"Are we going to see Daddy?" Emma asked.

Alice nodded slowly, "We're going to go stay over there for a while. You might even have to start school over there too." Alice told her seriously.

Emma nodded slowly, mimicking Alice's earlier actions, "Does that mean I can make friends there?"

"You can make friends wherever you want, honey." Alice told her, frowning.

"Good!" Emma said, and grinned, "I'm gonna go tell Bryce, and Alex, and Evan and Caroline and Dupe and Nomsa and-"

"Okay, Emma, I get it!" Alice laughed.

Emma coughed lightly for a moment, and then quickly recovered, grinning at her Mum as she jumped from her lap and sped out into the hallway. Alice watched her go, sighing, her heart aching slightly with her decision. She tried to block out all thoughts, telling her that this meant that she was simply giving into Danny, letting him win, showing him that she wasn't strong enough. But she didn't want to think like that. So she screwed her eyes shut tightly for a moment, clenching and unclenching her fists and listening to nothing but the patter of her daughters footsteps floating down the hallway.

* * *

"You need to meet them." Sam was saying into the phone, her head in her hand, "You can't just disappear from their lives."

"I can do so very well. You knew I was going to leave. And you knew that I was never going to come back."

Tears pricked Sam's eyes and a lump formed at the back of her throat, making it harder for her to talk, "But you should see what she's like. She's a mess. She needs you to make her better." Sam told them hoarsely.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a long time, that was dragged out by the sound of the clock of Leopards Den ticking each second in it's rhythm, and Sam clutched the phone tightly to her ear. She gripped it so hard that her knuckles were white, and strained with her hearing for any sort of noise from the other side of the phone. There wasn't even the sound of breathing. That was when Sam realised that she had been holding her breath, too.

"Please." Sam begged in a whisper.

There was a heavy sigh, "I'll think about it."

They hung up the phone, and Sam sat there for a long time, listening to the empty, monotone sound of the phone. Ashamed, she placed the phone back onto the cradle and leaned back into the chair. With the tips of her fingers, she traced idle patterns on her stomach, on her slight bulge that indicated she was having another little round of babies. Yes, twins. She thought of them, tried to block out all the thoughts in her mind, because she knew that the stress was no good for them. Sam closed her eyes and wondered what they would look like. Bryce had her eyes, but everything else about him was just like Evan. Even down to the personality. Mind you, she was glad of that, especially that he had gained Evan's intelligence- she wasn't exactly the brightest tool in the toolbox!

She hoped that one of them would be a little girl. Oh, of course she'd love them equally if they were both boys. But she was slightly jealous of the relationship that Alice had with Emma. Emma was literally a little Alice, watching them together made the green monster of envy rise up in Sam. Of course she loved her little boy and was close to him, but he doted on his Dad. She wanted to be doted on, too. And Emma adored her Mum. Maybe Alice didn't see it, but Sam did. Emma looked at her as if she was the greatest existence in the world. Granted, Danny hadn't been around for a while, for quite some time, really, but even when Danny had been around, Emma had acted as if he barely existed when Alice was around.

Maybe it was better that way. She'd seen the destruction of Alice's relationships with her other two children. Oh, her and Charlotte had once had such a strong bond, she'd been told all about it. But as Charlotte had grown, Alice had obviously not relied on her as much as before, after all they all had a huge, complicated family now. It seemed to have a rather negative effect on Charlotte, especially when Danny had left and Charlotte had watched her Mum slowly reach the point of breaking. And then there was Alex. Oh, Sam could tell that he missed his Dad so much. He was a huge Daddy's boy. That was why he was acting this way, it was obvious, but Alice just didn't see it. Sam didn't blame her, she was under a lot of stress after all. But Emma was coping the best out of all of them, because she doted on her Mum so much. Emma loved her Dad, sure, but she was a Mummy's girl. It was lovely to see Alice and Emma together.

Sam just hoped Danny, Charlotte and Alex would dote on Alice, too. See her the way Emma saw her. Like she hung the moon and the stars single-handedly.

Yeah, she'd do anything for that.

* * *

Some time later, Alice sat in the office, in the same chair that Sam had sat in so many moments before. She punched in the number for Danny, and listened impatiently to the dialling tone. She sat and whistled, actually. Though immeadiately stopped when Danny picked up the phone.

"Hello?" He asked wearily.

"Danny."

"Alice?" He sounded suprised that she had called him. So he should be, she thought, it was always him that rung her while she waited around for him.

"Danny, next week, me and the kids are coming to stay with you."

"What-?"

"I'm not waiting around for you anymore Danny. We're a family. We stick together. Whatever you're doing out there Danny, we can know about it too, we can be involved. And I refuse to sit around waiting around for you while struggling to raise two kids-"

"Two? What about Charlotte-"

"On my own while you're swanning about England doing god-knows-what!" Alice snapped, furious he'd tried to interrupt her.

Danny sighed, "Alice..."

Alice put on her most omnious voice as possible, "Danny, we either come to England, or I'm filing for a divorce."

* * *

**Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnnnn!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Staying Strong.**

* * *

"I'm going to meet them." Sam listened intently to the voice the phone, "I've no other choice."

Sam almost fainted in relief.

* * *

"Y... You'll what?" Danny asked, dazed.

Alice swallowed and wetted her lips nervously before speaking into the phone again, "I said, I'll file for a divorce." She repeated, sounding a lot more braver than she felt inside.

Inside, she was trembling, she was fragile and hurting. Broken. But she would never let him see that. Alice had promised herself that. Never again would she let herself be so stupid. Why should she let him see what he had done to her? When he had been here, he had been her rock, her source of comfort. She had never let anybody see that side of her. Ever. She'd even told him about the nights when she had stayed awake crying when she'd first got pregnant with Charlotte- and she never even liked to _think _about that. Yet, he had gone, just upped and left. And he had expected her to carry on. Well, she did. But inside, she wasn't coping. Oh, she was so scared that she was going to break down. Though on the outside she tried so hard to keep her head held high and carry on, for her children, her family. Danny would _not break her. _Whether she loved him or not.

"W-Why would you... Alice, I... I love you, Alice... Please... You've got to understand..."

_I just want to be with you, _She thought with her eyes squeezed shut, stopping the tears falling from her eyes, "You tell me where you're staying, Daniel Trevanion, and I will fly to the nearest airport next Tuesday, and you _will _be there to pick us up." She told him, "And if you don't- well, then, it's over, Danny." She added in a whisper; "You've gone too far this time."

They were silent for a long, long time. Eventually, Danny sighed, and told her where he was staying.

* * *

"You're sure you've got everything?" Liam asked, rushing around after her, as she retrieved her own, Alex and Emma's suitcases in the back of his car, laughing.

"Yes, Mum." She replied, rolling her eyes and tutting.

Liam bit his lip, "I'm worrying, aren't I?" He asked.

Alice nodded, "Just a bit!"

Liam sighed and half-smiled, watching as his best friend loaded her suitcases onto the trolley as the stood outside the airport. Emma was stood beside him, watching her Mum with her wide blue eyes, holding onto Liam's hand. Alex, on the other hand, couldn't keep still, pacing restlessly on the pavement. He was impatient, Liam could tell. Alex had and always would be a Daddy's-boy, so it was to be expected that he couldn't wait to see his Dad again. When Alice had told him the news, his face had broadened into the biggest grin anyone had seen him smile his entire life. For Emma, the novelty had worn off after a while, and, bored of Alex's constant talking of their Father, had chose to follow Alice around the house as soon as she got home from school. Liam would almost go as far as say that Emma didn't seem quite pleased with the idea after all. And Charlotte? Liam sighed. Well, Charlotte he was yet to find out about. Alice didn't talk about her. He knew Alice better than to ask.

Alice didn't seem as excited as she should be. When she had told Liam, there had been no smile of happiness on her face, no hint that she was pleased she was going to see Danny, or that Danny had let her and the kids go stay with them. In fact, she hadn't any emotion on her face at all besides fierce determination. Liam smirked fondly, typical Alice. She was too damn stubborn and determined for her own good! He knew that she was hurt with Danny, actually Liam felt angry with him, too. He hated seeing Alice like this, so fragile even though she thought she was putting on a good show. Liam hated Danny more in that moment than he had with the misunderstanding of the pair breaking up when Alice had been pregnant with Alex. But surely, Alice should be pleased? Liam had always thought that those two would make it through anything, that they would love each other despite the consequences... but now, Alice didn't have that look of love on her face. Actually, ever since Danny had left her look of love had slowly changed to a bitter, sour one. Almost cynical. Liam's own heart broke in two when he thought about how much she must be hurting.

Emma squeezed his hand, "Li?" She asked.

He looked down at her, "Em?" He asked in reply, smiling slightly.

She frowned, "Cause Mummy's going to see Daddy, will that mean she'll love me less?"

It was Liam's turn to frown, "Why on earth would you think that?"

Emma looked over at her Mum who was now talking to Sam and Evan, who were trying to get Bryce off the suitcase trolley. Emma pursed her lips, "She was happy when Daddy was here." She stated. "And when Daddy went, she got sad." Emma looked back up at Liam, "I couldn't make her as happy even when I really tried. So when she see's Daddy again and she gets happy, will that mean she realises that I'm not good enough?"

Liam bent down to her height, completely shocked and lost for words for several moments, simply staring into Emma's inquisitive sapphire blue eyes. The exact same shade as her Mum's. He was completely shocked. How could such young eyes notice so much? Those wide, innocent eyes, that sparkled when she laughed and darkened when she cried. Those eyes that had seen her Mum slowly become nothing without Danny. Of course she would notice, even if she was young. Emma, she was a smart thing, the smartest child he had ever met. He wasn't just saying that either, she was. And she was by her Mum's side nearly every hour of every day. Of course she'd notice. That didn't shock Liam any less, though.

He took both her little, soft hands in his own, still astounded and staring into those knowing eyes. "Your mum _adores _you, Emma. She loves you more than she will ever be able to explain or show." He told her, voice laced with emotion as he stroked her tiny, perfect little hands with his thumbs. She always had been little for her size. "And just because she will be with your Dad again doesn't mean that she'll love you any less. She'll love you as much as she always has and always will. You tried to make her happy when your Dad, the man she fell in love with, wasn't there for her- and you _did _help her Emma. And for that, she'll always love you and be thankful." He told her seriously, still staring into those eyes. "You remember that, eh, Em? And just get your Mum to put you on the phone to me if you ever want me to tell you again, yeah?"

Emma's eyes seemed to drink in his words, as if she analysing everything he was saying to see if it was the truth. A tiny, barely noticeable but still there, smile crossed her face for a moment and then it was gone. "Love you, Li."

He grinned, "Love you too, Emz."

Alice suddenly appeared, "Hey, what's going on here?"

They both turned to her, Liam standing up, "Oh, you know, just telling her how to annoy you on the plane when you have no escape from her."

Alice scowled at him dissaprovingly, "Liam." She said, exasperated, then rolled her eyes. "Right, where's my hug?"

Liam hugged her tightly, "Look after yourself." He whispered in her ear, "Call me as soon as you get there."

Alice hugged him harder, "I'll miss you."

"Miss you too." He told her as they pulled away, he saw her little tears, in those eyes that Emma had gained from Alice. He grinned at her, "Hey, I'll see you soon, I'll come out and visit you when you're settled, yeah? Unless you come back quickly."

Alice nodded, and giggled slightly, "Right. Yeah. I'm being silly." She said, and sniffed, rubbing her eyes furiously as a few tears managed to leak from her eyes. Damn tears. "Hey, keep me updated with that man of yours!" She teased.

Liam sighed, rolling his eyes, "I'm telling you there's nothing going on!"

Alice simply took Emma's hand, "And got to Leopards Den sometimes, make sure Dupe hasn't drunk himself into a coma, or that Caroline hasn't nagged anyone to death- or that Nomsa's gone into breakdown with the stress of looking after them two on her own!" She said, eyes glittering, and then said, "See ya, Liam." Earning her a nod, and started walking away, Emma in tow. Liam waved over at everyone in the background. Evan, Sam and Bryce all waved back enthusiastically, yelling "Bye!"at him. Alex quickly headed into the airport without a second glance, but Liam understood.

Emma raised her tiny hand, and waggled her tiny little fingers in a delicate wave, eyes sad as she looked over her shoulder at him and stumbled along behind her Mum. He smiled in return, and, not being able to stand the sad look on her young face anymore, turned to climb back into his car.

"Emma!"

Liam looked up to see Alice watching Emma racing back across to him. He knelt down as she reached him, and she flung her arms around his shoulders tightly, a few gentle tears escaped her eyes. He hugged her tightly, though careful with her tiny little frame.

"If my Daddy never came back like Mummy thinks," Emma whispered into his ear, shocking him with her knowledge about the situation for a moment, "You'd be the best second Daddy, ever, Li."

Liam wasn't able to do anything as she disentangled herself from their hug and skipped happily back to her Mum. This time, when Emma looked over her shoulder and waved one final time- her eyes were happy, and a small smile on her face.

A grin split across his face and he waved in return.


	11. Chapter 11

**Staying Strong.**

Alex shifted impatiently in his seat, on the right of Alice. On the left of her, sat Emma, taking in the detail around her, studying everything, even down to the last particle in the dust. Instead of behaving like a typical five year old whom would usually yell overly loudly and cause general mayhem for other passengers, she sat patiently and quietly. She had the window seat, and after studying the inside of the plane, she stared out of the window, looking at the people towards the plane. There were still passengers boarding, which was why the plane still hadn't taken off yet. Alex huffed and shifted again impatiently. Averting her eyes from Emma, Alice turned to Alex, smiling at him.

"Don't worry, it takes off soon." She assured him, but he just pushed with his hands on the armrests, glancing anxiously at the people climbing on board.

"You said it would only take eleven hours. We already spent at least one in the airport and getting on here. Does that count?" He asked.

Alice sighed, "No, Alex, I meant the flight. Takes about eleven hours... well, maybe another half hour, depends on the weather." She told him.

"How does it fly?" Emma suddenly piped up.

Alice and Alex both looked over at her, and she stared at them with curiosity burning brightly in her eyes. Alice frowned, "Well, I'm not sure the science of it. All I know is that those engines, you see those ones there?" Alice pointed at the engines attached to the bottom side of the wing, Emma nodded, "They're what make it fly."

Emma frowned, "So it doesn't flap it's wings like a bird?"

Alice laughed, "No, honey, it doesn't."

* * *

Words were repeated in several languages over the speaker, and Alice paid no attention to them, instead was currently trying to coax Bryce back into his seat. He had sprung out of it a while ago when he'd grown bored, and Evan had tried to grab him, Sam had started as if to stand up but Alice headed after him instead. Bryce refused and tried to run away but she just caught him by the collar of his top, stopping him short.

_"Nana."_ He whined as she took her chance and picked him up, causing many surprised glances her way. Of course they'd be shocked. After all, she _was_ only in her mid-forties.

The words over the speaker finally changed to English, telling the passengers to put on their seatbelts. Alice hurried back to her seat, holding a protesting Bryce over her shoulder. "Bryce, you've got to sit while the plane takes off."

Bryce made a non-commital grunt, and finally accepting defeat stopped protesting and let Alice take him back to their seats. She handed him to Evan who smiled gratefully and thanked her, and then sat in the row in front of them, inbetween Emma and Alex. Emma was staring at the complex seatbelt in front of her, trying to place it into the wrong side of the latch. Alice smiled fondly and showed her daughter how to do the seatbelt, quickly making sure that the seatbelt wasn't too tight. She then turned to Alex, who was halfway there, quickly doing his, too. He sat back and grinned as the engines of the plane rumbled to life. She looked between him and Emma, Emma appeared slightly nervous, nibbling on her lip lightly. Neither of them had flown before, so she was expecting this.

As the plane gathered more speed on the runway, Emma reached out and took Alice's hand, so slowly and lightly that she almost didn't notice. As the plane was just moments away from taking off, Alice gripped her tiny hand tighter, and stared at her young daughters nervous face. Emma relaxed at Alice's touch, and leaned back in her seat, mirroring Alex's actions as a small smile spread across her face.

Alice cleared her throat and leaned back in her seat, too. And then, seconds later, the front wheels of the plane were off the ground.

"Here we come, Danny." She muttered under her breath.

* * *

Emma was glued to the window for the first two hours, at least. They'd bought some snacks from the trolley when it had come along. Actually, between them and Sam, Evan and Bryce they'd probably bought the most. Usually, Alice would be against them eating so much junk, but since they were mostly still nervous, she'd let them have it. Emma had sat swinging her legs and nibbling on endless packets of chocolate bourbons, staring out at the clouds, telling Alice what shapes she thought they were, and asking her where they were when she looked down on the ground. Alex, however, was slouched in his seat, having taken off his seatbelt at the first possible moment, playing on his DS with a packet of crisps in his lap, having devoured the other four packets, one of which had been Emma's, over the past couple of hours. He'd not really said a word to Alice, unless he was asking for the time.

He turned to her suddenly and asked, "How long's it been now?"

"Two hours," Alice said, glancing at her watch. It'd only been fifteen minutes since he'd last asked.

Alex sighed, and turned back to his DS.

"No, it's _not _made out of candyfloss, stupid, otherwise people would eat it; wouldn't they?" Alice heard her daughter say.

She turned back to see Emma standing on her seat, turned back and talking to Bryce. Alice smiled when she realised her daughter was talking about the clouds. Child's logic would always win.

* * *

Alice peaked through the gap inbetween her and Alex's seat to see that Sam had fallen asleep, head lolled back on the seat, trendils of her stunning orange hair falling in front of her face, breathing gently. Bryce was asleep on her lap, head resting on her shoulder. He'd had a sugar rush ten minutes previously, it seemed the effects had worn off now. Evan caught her eye and grinned, his headphones in and iPod resting in his lap. She grinned back at him and turned back round to face forwards.

Beside her, Emma was slowing taking apart a jaffa cake, first eating all the chocolate on top and then the mushy biscuit type layer underneath, leaving her with the orange part. Alex grinned as Emma popped it in her mouth proudly. Emma may look like her and even act slightly like her, but that was definately something she had gained from Danny! Emma noticed her watching and looked up at her, chocolate around her mouth from the previous few jaffa cakes she'd eaten in a similiar way, and then turned her attention back to more jaffa cakes.

Alice turned to her son, who's DS was apparently running low on battery, as he had complained when the light had turned red instead of green, signifying that he only had half an hour max from it left. Suddenly, the screen on his DS blacked out and Alex angrily threw it into his bag, "I didn't even save it!" He muttered angrily. And then he turned to Alice and she knew what words were going to come out of his mouth before he even said them, "How long's it been?"

"Six hours." She told him, "Only five hours left."

Alex sighed and pulled out his portable DVD player from his bag which Alice had bought him for the flight. As it was loading up, he said, "Mum?"

"Yes darling?"

He seemed to think about his question, "Are we going to stay there forever? With Dad?"

"Well, hopefully, your Dad will come back to Leopards Den when we choose to go back." She told him, unsure of where this conversation was going.

"But what if... what if he doesn't? Do we have to come back to Africa?"

Alice frowned, "Well, it's your home, Alex, I..." She mumbled, speechless for a moment.

He looked up at her, "What if I want to stay with Dad?" He asked seriously.

That struck a cord. Alice took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, and then let it out slowly, opening her eyes. "We'll talk about it when the time comes, eh?"

Alex nodded and plugged his headphones into the DVD player.

* * *

Emma's tongue was stuck out in concentration as she gripped the blue crayon in her right hand, colouring in the sky of her picture in her colouring book. The small little dent between her eyebrows had formed as she tried carefully not to go out of the lines. She was disrupted as a, now awake, Bryce kicked the back of her chair. It jolted her, and her crayon ended up crossing out the rest of her picture. She dropped the crayon and her little mouth formed a small 'O', a sad expression on her face. Suddenly, her face crumpled up and Alice could tell she was seconds away from crying.

Alice quickly intervened, picking up Emma and placing her on her lap, one hand reaching up and stroking her cheek. "You tired, baby?" She asked.

Emma, distracted, nodded and rest her head on Alice's shoulder. Alice reached into her bag and pulled out Emma's security blanket she knew she'd end up needing, wrapping it around her tightly. Emma's little fingers closed around the hem of the blanket, blinking slowly. Moments later, her head lolled limply on Alice's shoulder, and she was asleep. Just like that.

* * *

"But Dad I really gotta go."

"You went ten minutes ago, Bryce, and I am not waking your Mum up just so you can run up and down the plane again when you claimed you wanted to use the toilet."

"But I really _need _to go this time, Dad."

Evan sighed, "Bryce-"

Alice turned around, catching Evan's attention. "I'll take him."

Evan looked startled, "Oh, er, are you sure?"

"Yeah." Alice said, smiling. She'd gently prised Emma off her and placed her back in her own seat half and hour ago, Emma still lay slumbering.

Evan nodded and picked up Bryce under the arms, passing him to Alice over the seats. Alice caught him in her arms, and squeezed past Alex who slowly seemed to be nodding off while watching Shrek. Bryce tried to wriggle out of her grip once she started walking but she kept him on her hip.

"I'm not letting you run around like you want to, Bryce." She said, though she knew it wasn't Bryce's fault. For such a little boy he had a huge amount of energy.

Bryce sighed, once again losing an argument against his Nan.

* * *

Alex was chasing Bryce around as they waited patiently for their suitcases, all the adults had given up with them moments before once the suitcases started revolving around on the circular belt, even if they were disrupting other people. Alex and Bryce had both been mucking around ever since the plane had landed. Alex had found his newfound energy with the thought of seeing his Dad, and Bryce, well, Bryce was just Bryce. Unlike Emma, who stood with Alice, Sam and Evan, watching each suitcase go past.

Evan and Sam actually only had one suitcase, of which was for Bryce. They were sure he'd grown out of his clothes that they had over at Sam's parents house in England, but Evan and Sam obviously hadn't. Sam hadn't thrown away any of her clothes that she had in England from her last pregnancy, so she was safe. Whereas Alice had a suitcase for herself, and Emma and Alex both had their own suitcases. Alice had packed them a lot for she wasn't sure whether they'd be over in England for long or not.

Eventually, their cases came around and they loaded them onto the trolley, heading out of the airport. Alex and Bryce ran ahead, Emma hanging back, yet again, with all the adults. "Mum?" Alex called Alice when he rounded the corner.

"Yes?"

"It's _raining." _He said with disgust, frowning.

Alice smirked, "Yeah. Does that a lot here."

This time, Alex and Bryce weren't so keen to run ahead, wanting to stay in the warmth. Alice thought hard and found the exit that would lead them to where Danny was supposed to be parked outside. Her heart hammered nervously with each step she took- each one closer to Danny.

They exited the building, all of them looking around for Danny. It was Alex who noticed him first. "Dad!" He yelled at the top of his voice, sprinting off.

Emma caught sight of her Dad, too, and suddenly released Alice's hand, running after Alex, pushing herself to run much faster than she ever had. Alice followed with her eyes to where they were headed as she patiently walked with Evan and Sam, Evan pushing their trolley, and caught sight of Danny leaning against a jeep.

He suddenly noticed Emma and Alex charging towards them, and a huge smile split across his face. He pushed off the jeep and strode towards them, long strides due to his excitement and his long legs. Alex reached him first, practically knocking his father to the ground when he threw himself at him. Danny caught him and crushed Alex to him, swinging him around, twice, before placing him back down on the ground. Alex grinned up at him, "Dad." He said breathlessly, unable to say anything else.

Emma caught up with them and ran at her dad's legs, clutching tightly. He knelt down, stroking her face with his hands, "Hey little one." He whispered, grinning, and then pulled them both in for a hug.

Sam and Evan tactically dragged Bryce away to help them place the suitcases in the car, and Alice stood waiting, holding her breath. The sight of Danny with hugging their children made her almost melt.

Danny looked up and noticed Alice standing there. She was more beautiful than he had remembered. With her long, black hair tumbling down her back in natural waves, her sapphire blue eyes shining like stars in the night sky, the small freckles on her nose hardly visible but he remembered where each and every one was. And that smile. Not a total smile. He hadn't expected that. But a tiny quirk of the lips when he looked up at her. He swallowed, blinking, as if she wasn't real. She was too beautiful to be real.

Emma grabbed Alex's hand and pulled him away, much to his protests. Leaving them alone. Danny stood up and they faced each other nervously for ages, staring and drinking in each detail of their faces, a sight they hadn't seen in so long. She had dark circles under her eyes, more noticeable than before, he decided, even though she'd tried to hide them with make-up; and a few more lines of stress had added to her face, but that was to be expected, she'd had the stress of raising the kids. Hesitantly, he reached out and cupped her face in his hands, handing her almost as if she was as fragile as china. Alice instantly closed those glorious eyes of hers at his touch.

He stepped forwards and slightly tiled her face up to his. She opened her eyes for a moment, their faces inches from each other, her blue eyes meeting his own green, and he hesitated, a question in his eyes. She simply closed her eyes again. Taking that as conformation, he leant down slowly and, tenderly, kissed her lips with his own.

It wasn't perfect. They weren't, not in this situation. But it was good enough. And more tender than he had ever remembered.

It was more meaningful than the rhythm of his beating heart.

* * *

**I wanted to have more Danny in this chapter, but I was too caught up with trying to get them to behave like a normal(ish) family! Ah well. Off to do english notes now ¬_¬ Otherwise I'd have written even more! Also, I'm not too sure about how Alice should react to seeing Danny again, after all she threatened to get a divorce before; so I hope it's alright!(Also, can you tell my favourite character is Emma?:') lol!)  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Staying Strong**

The rain drizzled down everywhere, every singular drop pulled down by gravity towards to the earth. Some splattered on the pavement, creating rhythmatic beats as they landed. Some fell onto the cars parked outside the airport, as their passengers rushed inside to escape from each drop. And then there were the other drops, which pattered delicately onto their faces. They stared at each other for several long moments, the rest of their family realising they needed a moment and escaping to the car. All the while, Danny and Alice simply stood, his hands cupping her face as they pulled out of their soft kiss, and her palms laying flat on his chest.

The raindrops fell onto both their faces, but it didn't distract them. Danny stared into Alice's eyes. Those eyes which held a million different emotions all at once. Her sapphire eyes which had been so alight with happiness and life that he himself had found himself happy just looking into them, oh, how they had changed, how tired they had become. Alice's crystal-blue orbs were ever so weary, so tired of the world. Gently, they fluttered closed again and she breathed deeply, raindrops running down her face as they landed.

After a while it was difficult to tell whether she was simply standing in the rain or crying. Her body was perfectly still, normal, no shaking or trembling. Her expression was neutral, betraying no emotion whatsoever- but that would be because every emotion she held back was hidden in those gorgeous eyes of hers. Every emotion of hers was cut off from him at that moment with her eyes shut, she was so distant and he barely recognised her. Water slowly trickled down her cheeks, and whether it was teardrops or raindrops he couldn't tell. She was so different now.

Yet every bit as vulnerable as before.

He wanted to say something, anything, to comfort her. But he didn't want his big mouth to ruin anything, and so he gently rubbed her soft cheeks with his thumbs, wanting to tell her everything but nothing at the same time. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her and cradled Alice to his chest. She buried her face into his shoulder, and he rubbed her back soothingly, comforting her. In ways that he had always used to but were so unfamiliar at the same time. Alice was fragile, she always had been, despite how she had appeared with those fiery blazing eyes of hers that told her story; and to know that he had caused her to be so open to him so easily, in public... well, there were _no_ words to describe the sickly feeling that rose up his stomach.

Instead, he simply held her.

* * *

Alice sat with Emma on her lap, whom had fallen asleep again on the journey. The whole journey seemed to have completely knocked it out of her, the poor little thing. The car jostled slightly as the tyres drove across the rough pavement, the views bland, nothing compared to Africa. They'd dropped Sam, Evan and Bryce off at Sam's parents house five minutes ago; and oh how that had been an awkward moment! Alice had never been a fan of Sam's parents, especially with the way they manipulated Sam, but it seemed they liked her even less because she'd figured out what they did. Alice had once tried to explain it to Danny, but he just didn't see it. He didn't see anything. Nobody did. Was she just being paranoid, then? Maybe she was- but there was one thing she _did _know_, _and it was that Emma was ill.

Alex was sat in the front with his Dad, speaking at a hundred-miles-an-hour, "And Joey, the monkey, well he just ran off and I couldn't catch up with him and it was really funny. And the man who didn't like Joey got really angry. So then I went and told Mum and she went on forever and ever and ever and-"

"I am here y'know." Alice said sternly, raising an eyebrow. Alex looked at her, taking in her serious expression and sighed, turning back to his Dad.

"She got really angry and sorted it out with the man. He left later that day."

Danny looked at Alice through the mirror in the car, raising an eyebrow, "Later that day, huh?"

Alice shrugged, "He was supposed to leave the next day but I guess he couldn't handle it."

Danny grinned, "You always were a fiesty one."

Alice locked eyes with him, "Yeah... I used to be."

* * *

As Danny pulled up outside the house Alice's eyes widened slightly, why hadn't Danny told her about this place? How could he have kept the fact that his Mum had left him a house? He'd told her when his Mum had passed on, and she had comforted him as much as she could- but why hadn't he told her about the house? What had he kept it for, anyway? It was all so suspicious. They lived in Africa, not England, so why keep a four bedroom house? Alice swallowed the lump of betrayal that rose in her throat.

Danny quickly climbed out of the car and began retrieving their cases from the boot. Alice shifted Emma carefully and climbed out too, Alex jumping out easily, almost sparkling with hyperactiveness. She gave him a stern look. "Bed as soon as we get in, Mister."

His face fell, "But, Mum-"

Alice gave him her serious expression which meant no arguing, "It's eleven at night, don't think the rules have changed just because your Dad is here."

"He's much more fun than you are." Alex grumbled, shutting the door of his car grumpily and shuffling after Danny.

Alice shut the boot which Danny had left wide open, typical, checking that they hadn't left anything there. And then hurried after them, careful not to wake Emma.

She stepped inside and gazed around, taking in the large hallway, eyes inspecting every detail. Looking for something. Anything. Something that proved this was a home. But all she saw was a large, empty house. Thinking of Danny staying here- hopefully- alone, brought tears to her eyes, just tiny ones that she blinked away. She closed the front door softly behind her, and took more steps in the house. The suitcases were left at the bottom of the stairs, and she could hear the sound of Alex deciding which room he wanted upstairs. Danny laughed, and although she knew she should be angry with him, Alice closed her eyes and smiled. Trying to calm her racing heart. How she'd missed that laugh.

Deciding to put Emma to bed before inspecting the house, she took the stairs quietly one by one- the conversation between Alex and Danny was much more quiet now. Curious, she listened.

"She was sad." She heard Alex saying.

"How sad?"

"Really sad." Alex said, "And angry. Mummy got really, really angry. She wasn't Mummy anymore."

Alice's breath caught and she clutched onto Emma, burying her face in her daughters soft hair, seeking reassurance. God, she was such a bad mother. And the guilt she felt! She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself.

"What d'you mean son?"

"Well... the only one she was nice to was Emma."

"I'm sure she wasn't-"

"She was nasty to Charlotte. She _slapped _her, Daddy, Emma told me. Emma saw it."

Alice screwed her eyes shut, banishing the memories. Somewhere out there, Charlotte was happy, without her. She had driven Charlotte away. Alice knew she needed to find her, but now was not the time. Charlotte would need time to recover from the shock, just as much as Alice needed it. But Alice needed Charlotte, too. Didn't Charlotte realise that?

"Are... Are you sure?" She could hear the shock in Danny's tone.

"Yeah, and now Charlotte's gone. Mummy won't talk about her."

Danny sighed, "Well, that doesn't mean she's horrible to you."

"I got suspended from school for breaking this boys arm-"

"You what?"

"And Mummy went... Mummy was silent the whole drive home, like when she gets really angry, so angry she can't talk. And she took everything away. And... and I said that you'd understand, and then..."

"Then what?" Danny probed softly.

Alice's heart broke. She didn't want to hear this. The ugly truth. But she needed to. To help herself get better. How could her little boy believe she only loved Emma? How wrong he was. Alex reminded her the most of Danny, and that... that hurt. So, so much. She could barely even look at her little boy without thinking of Danny. Everything he did, every little mannerism, even faces her pulled, not that he didn't look like his father already, made her think of Danny. And it broke her heart.

"Then she went scary. She yelled so madly at me. Her eyes were all different, too. She was so, so angry. And she scared me, Dad... She did."

"Oh, son... she's just under some pressure-"

"How could you leave us with a scary Mummy?"

Alice couldn't bear it anymore, and quickly dived into the next avaliable room which was to be Emma's. She sat down on the edge of the bed and tucked her daughter in, staring at her beautiful face. So innocent. So peaceful. She tucked a strand of Emma's hair behind her ear gently, thinking. Alex and Charlotte had been like that, once. Now look at them. She had ruined them. She couldn't let that happen again. It happened with Danny, too, she had ruined him. He'd started sneaking about and keeping secrets and not acting like Danny anymore. Nobody understood how much that hurt her. She was so dissappointed in herself.

Maybe they'd all be better off without her.

* * *

Alice and Danny sat on the sofa, watching the tele. Danny hadn't tried to push her, didn't try to hug her or come near her, guessing she needed her space. Alice sat with her knees cradled to her chest, staring at the television but not really seeing. All she could think about was how she ruined everyone's lives. Pushed them away. And in the process she was just hurting herself, breaking herself.

Suddenly, Danny switched off the television and turned to her, startling Alice. He grabbed her hands, and shuffled closer to her, staring into her eyes.

"You have such sad eyes." He whispered, reaching out and tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. "You used to be happy. Those eyes never failed to bring a smile to my face. Such beautiful eyes. Still beautiful, of course... but quiet." He said softly, "As if you're hiding everything that you're feeling from the world."

Alice swallowed, her lips quivering into a half smile, "Maybe you didn't know me as well as you thought you did."

He refused to let her comment hit him, he knew she was just putting up a fight, trying to get him to back off. He didn't blame her. "Or maybe, this has changed you. That's what I think." He squeezed her hands, "Oh, my beautiful Alice, my gorgeous, amazing, kind, astounding, Alice..."

"I'm not yours." She spat, pulling her hands from his grip and turning away.

"No." He mumbled softly, "No, you never were."

She stared at him curiously.

"You've always been your own woman, Alice. I admire that about you. So strong, to the whole world. But inside? Just as human and hurt as everyone else."

"You don't know me." She said viciously, "You wouldn't understand."

He leaned forward, cupping her face in his hands, "Then help me out here, Alice. Help me understand." He pleaded softly.

"I don't know what you want me to say." Alice admitted quietly.

Danny swallowed, "Tell me you forgive me. That you have things that you've never told me and will possibly never be able to tell me, and that it's perfectly normal I'm going to have things like that too. But that you love me just like I will _always _love you more than words can explain. Tell me that you don't really want to get a divorce, tell me that you think that everything can go back to how it was once this is all over. Please, Alice. Tell me everything." He pleaded.

Alice was staring at him with eyes of sorrow, but weary, ever so weary. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks, glistening eyes watching him carefully, her expression crumpled up. She took his hands and removed them from his face. And he knew he was losing her, he thought he'd broke down the wall she'd put up, but she was so different now. Once, he would've always been able to get through that wall. But it was all his fault he couldn't anymore. There was no blaming her.

Alice squeezed his hands lightly, "I can't tell you that, Danny." She whispered, shaking her head, her voice breaking, "Because the only thing I feel anymore is pain. And misery. And I don't even know who I am anymore. In all of this i've lost who I am and I don't know to go back to how I was."

She took a deep breath, "So, no. I can't tell you I forgive you. Because I don't. And no, I can't tell you that it's normal for you to hide things, because you were never like that." Her eyes locked with his, her voice wobbling as she spoke thickly through her tears, "And I can't tell you I love you if I don't feel it. I don't feel anything apart from this mistery and it's driving me insance. I don't know if I want a divorce, Danny... and we will never be able to be how we were before, because I don't even know how I was so happy. I can't remember the last time I was..."

Her voice cut off with a choked sob and he reached out and cradled her in his arms. Her body heaved with each sob that consumed her, huge, shaking, heaves, her fingers shaking as they reached up to join aroound the back of his neck. She couldn't speak or see, and the only thing she could feel was the misery, the pain, not Danny holding her. She was so distant and lost and she didn't know what to do. She didn't know who she was anymore.

"Oh, Alice." Danny murmured into her dark, silky hair, "I am so, so sorry."

Alice simply wept into his chest, unable to anything more.

He held her for as long as she needed to be held. Comforting her. But knowing he wasn't getting through. He barely recognised Alice anymore.

Eventually, Alice's sobs ended. Sniffing, she whispered, "I hate myself. I ruin everything I touch."

Danny pulled her away at arms length to stare into her eyes, "No you don't."

"I heard you and Alex. He told you about Charlotte." She said softly, "I didn't realise I'd ruined Alex, too. First you, then Charlotte, then Alex... And Emma... Oh my baby, I can't let myself ruin her." She wept, hiding her face in her hands, "You'd all be better off without me."

Danny pulled her hands away from her face and pulled her so quickly towards him that it was almost painful. She let out a suprised yelp when she found herself face-to-face with Danny, his breath washing over her face, able to taste it on her tongue. His eyes were blazing and his expression furious. He gripped her wrists painfully.

"_Never ever _say that again, Alice." He growled, "You mean so much to me." He whispered brokenly.

His lips came crashing down on hers almost demandingly even though she tried to pull away, uncomfortable. He held her to him, kissing her with passion and fire. Suddenly, she found herself not so uncomfortable. She felt the first signs of actual happiness within her. Passion tingled all through her, starting at her toes and surging through her body, all the way to the very top of her head. Alice couldn't even remember her own name, left completely breathless. _This _was something she'd missed incredibly, the physical human contact. She needed him. The kiss was growing more passionate by the second, all the heat rising in the room, Alice was sure her cheeks were burning. Her hands knotted in his hair and pulled him closer. He slowly laid her down, not missing a beat. They kissed hungrily, and all the tears of Alice evaporated- most likely because of the heat building in the room.

Danny pulled away for a moment, looming above her and staring at her glazed expression, swallowing. "Alice." He mumbled, catching his breath, a question in his eyes.

Her chest was heaving as she struggled to catch her breath, staring up at him. "Yes." She whispered softly, tracing his lips with the tips of her fingers for moment, before reaching around and knotting her hands in his hair, pulling him down and englufing his lips with his own.

In that moment, children were born, people died, many laughed, and cried, too. People broke up, and people came together, some girls waited for him to call, and some boys tried to bring up the courage to call her. Some had their first kiss, and some their last- and someone fell in love.

But all they could feel, smell, hear, taste and see were each other.

* * *

**A/N: Alice was actually meant to slap Danny, and then I found, as Nat defines it to be, my "niche"- and this happened. And OMG the danice in the last ep! I was weeping with joy! And ~spoiler~ if Alice isn't pregnant in the next ep, I will find an excuse to kill someone. Seriously. Oh and please don't think that Danice are perfect now, it was just... comfort. And need. And shiz.  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Staying Strong**

There was a lot of buzzing, which was probably what woke Alice from her sleep. At first she thought it was her head, after all she'd had a hell of a load of headaches recently, but it just got louder and louder and grew more impatient. Then there was loud knocking and Alice jolted awake.

She was wrapped up in Danny's arms, sleeping in their new- hopefully temporary- bed, having eventually travelled to it over the night. Alice closed her eyes in bliss for a moment, the feel of Danny's arms wrapped tightly around her causing her to ignore the buzzing and the knocking. Alice turned in his arms, face-to-face with a sleeping Danny. She reached out, smiling, tracing his lips as she had done so the night before, with the very tips of her fingers, causing them to fizz slightly, remembering the night before. Danny's lips twitched slightly, but other than that he lay blissfully unaware.

Eventually the knocking became to much to ignore and Alice grabbed Danny's shirt, doing up the buttons expertedly. The shirt almost swallowed her. She hurried out to the door, greatful that the knocking hadn't awoke either Alex or Emma. They definately needed their sleep after the journey they'd had! The same could be said for her, though she couldn't exactly blame the journey for that one! Banishing a smile from her face, Alice opened the door slowly. Only allowing her head to peek around it to hide her rather underdressed body.

Sam stood on her doorstep, smiling awkwardly. Alice frowned and opened her mouth to say hello when-

"Hello, Mum." Charlotte stepped up to the doorstep, appearing from around the corner of the wall.

Alice's heart stopped beating and she gasped. Forgetting all about hiding herself, she flung the door open, launching herself at Charlotte. She pulled her close to her and held her closely, breathing deeply, stroking her soft light brown hair, revelling in the feel of holding her. She kissed Charlotte's cheek, "Oh, my baby." She whispered, kissing her forehead, "Oh, my beautiful, beautiful baby." Alice buried her face in Charlotte's hair, letting a few tears slip from her azure eyes.

"Mum." Charlotte whispered into Alice's neck, gripping her tightly, a few tears choking her up. Charlotte closed her eyes tightly, knowing that she'd been in the wrong. Oh, how much she'd missed her Mum.

They stood there and simply held each other for minutes. Sam felt rather the gooseberry, but they didn't seem to notice her, and the sight of them reunited with each other made her happy beyond anything. Sam grinned as she saw the smile split across both their faces and the small, happy tears trickling down their cheeks.

"I'm sorry." Charlotte mumbled.

"Me too, Charlie. Me too." Alice whispered, so quietly even she didn't hear herself.

* * *

Danny stirred slightly, feeling as if something was missing. His eyes flickered open slowly, his eyes registering the empty bed. For one crazy moment he'd thought that the Alice and the kids coming back had been a dream, along with last night. But then his brain clicked and he noticed the slight dent beside him where Alice's sleeping figure had been, and a smile spread across his face. Of course it couldn't have been a dream. Everything had been so real. No dream could be that detailed and... well, let's leave it at that.

Danny grabbed his trousers and frowned when he was unable to find his shirt, he could've sworn he'd brought it up with him. Guessing he'd left it downstairs, Danny gave up on it and headed out into the hallway. Hearing movement downstairs, he silently padded down the stairs. He was slightly nervous. Everything had come flooding back to him last night, everything, all the times and memories he had shared with Alice and the reason why he'd fallen in love with her in the first place. He'd never forgotten how much he loved her of course, he'd just forgotten how precious that was. But he knew that she hadn't totally forgiven him, she'd just needed comfort and reassurance. One day, maybe she would forgive him. But he understood. And he could live with that. Knowing that, one day, maybe she'd forgive him. He knew his actions were stupid and wrong, but he just couldn't help it.

Danny noticed Alice first, and swallowed. She was in his shirt, the end of it barely reaching her thighs. Danny took a few deep breaths and headed forwards, eyes kept on her face. She let go of whoever she was holding onto, and turned to him, with red-rimmed, puffy eyes. All he wanted in that moment was to take her in his arms and make her feel better. But he was distracted as he noticed Charlotte scowling at him, one hand rubbing at her own green eyes. He was pretty shocked. He'd only been gone, what, four months? She'd changed a lot. Actually, it was a lot like Alice. Her eyes were much more harder, more defensive- but it was something else with Charlotte. She'd... She looked as if she'd grown up. But it was different. In a way. She looked grown up even though she was in a loose top, jeans and ugg boots, much different to how she'd usually dress. Her face was bare of any make-up, hair scraped back into a messy bun on the top of her head. It was all so... different.

"Danny." Charlotte said, strained, shooting him daggers.

He smiled, "Charlie! You look..." He paused, still trying to think of a word, "Mature." He said slowly.

Charlotte smirked, "Much more mature than you." She sneered.

"Charlotte. That's enough." Alice warned her, not meeting Danny's eyes.

"No, it's fine. She has her opinion." Danny countered, forcing a smile, desperately hoping for the fiesty Alice to turn around and tell him to mind his own business. But she didn't. She was different.

Sam piped up, "Um, I'll just, I should get back to Bryce, Evan can barely cope with him when he has one of his hyper moods and he'll wake up soon so-"

"But you're at your parents, aren't you?" Alice asked, unfazed. "Can't they look after him for a bit?"

Sam glanced uncomfortably at Alice and Danny's state of dress- or rather, state of undress. Alice looked down at herself and realised that she was just in Danny's shirt, blushing beetroot red straight away and becoming incredibly self-consious. Danny caught her eye, and for a moment, he recognised her. There was Alice in there- the Alice he knew. There was that cheeky, fiery glint in her sapphire blue eyes. He could've burst out into song right there and then over that. That his Alice was in there, somewhere.

But then she looked away and changed, again. "Right. Erm. Thanks, Sam." She said, smiling.

Sam grinned awkwardly, "See ya."

Sam walked down their driveway and climbed into her car, giving them a small wave. Eventually, Alice closed the door. She turned to Charlotte and opened her mouth to start conversation, but Charlotte cut across her.

She held up one hand and politely looked away, "Please put some proper clothes on and then we'll talk. You're making me uncomfortable. I know it's been a while-"

"Yes, yes, I'm going!" Alice said, cutting her off this time and turning to head up the stairs, taking two at a time and smartly holding down the hem of the shirt.

"You too." Charlotte said in a bored voice when Danny simply stood there and watched Alice go.

Danny turned to her and smiled softly, trying to convey all his feelings in his eyes. Charlotte was like a daughter to him- no actually, he'd always classed her as a daughter. So her being so off with him hurt as much as it did with Alice being different towards him. It was almost as if they were purposely trying to make him feel terrible. But he knew they weren't like that. Anyway, Alice wasn't that good an actress. Though, truth be told, she had frightened him last night. All the talk about them being better off without her. How could she ever think that? Did she not realise how special she was? How wanted and needed she was even though she didn't feel it herself? To see her so broken and distant, so hurt, had killed him. Had almost made him feel like they'd all be better off without him. He'd expected Alice to be off with him- well, she still slightly was- and he definately hadn't expected to see her break down like that. It had torn him to pieces.

Danny sighed, "I'm sorry, Charlie." He whispered softly.

Charlotte held her head high, shifting her weight to one foot and crossing her arms. She nodded towards the stairs, "You should be telling my Mum that."

"I already have." He told her.

She shook her head, sighing, "Not just the once. But not too much, either. Just... please, don't mess everything up. You think she's bad now, right? I can see it. You think she's all over the place. You think that she's different. Well truth is, she is. She changed. And seeing that was horrible and now I've learned that I have to change, too. To move forward. Because it's the only thing you can do. She tried to act like she was strong enough to handle it, but we could all tell it- it was in her eyes- that wasn't coping. But here, now, already, she's getting better. I can see it. Just being around you. Even though you may feel like she's not totally forgiven you, she has, a tiny bit. But a tiny part of her has always forgiven you for everything, even when it kills her."

Charlotte took a deep breath and let it out shakily.

"So, please, just tell show her how sorry you are. And get my Mum back. She's in there, somewhere. You know she is." Charlotte pleaded.

Danny nodded wordlessly, unable to do anything else but kiss Charlotte's forehead softly, squeezing his eyes shut tight and fighting the emotional tears trying to wade forward in his tear ducts, before smiling at her softly and following after Alice.


	14. Chapter 14

**Staying Strong**

_I didn't get any reviews last time, so make sure you've read the previous chapter : )_

Alice Trevanion patted her hair down as she looked anxiously in the mirror, pulling her fingers through her long locks, which was all mussed about. She'd already changed, knowing that her daughter Charlotte was waiting downstairs had sort-of made her want to be quicker. Alice was still slightly in a state of disbelief, why had Charlotte come back so suddenly? How had she known to come here, where they were? Thinking hard, Alice frowned, and suddenly gasped in shock. How had she not realized before? Granted, she had been all over the place back at Leopards Den, and she was tired this morning; but how could she have not noticed? Sam _had _been sneaking around a lot, and _she _was the one who turned up with Charlotte this morning. Alice felt a stab of betrayal in her heart and tears welled in her eyes. She'd liked Sam. Thought she was great, and made Evan very happy. But now... Alice wasn't quite sure.

How could she have kept it quiet that she knew where Charlotte was? Did they not realize how much she needed Charlotte? She'd been even worse after Charlotte had left, she'd been terrible, actually. Alice had needed Charlotte to come back and to explain things to her but she hadn't and she didn't have any idea where she was. Not only the pain of losing her had badly effected her, but not knowing where Charlotte was? That had killed her almost every day. What if she'd been in trouble? What if she'd been badly hurt? ... Killed? Alice wouldn't have known. So why had Sam kept it a secret? Did she enjoy seeing Alice suffer?

As time passed Alice grew angrier, silently fuming. The door clicked open softly behind her, and a troubled-looking Danny entered the room, but she barely even noticed him. She was too far lost in her own thoughts. He saw her, staring blankly into the mirror at her reflection, cut off from the world and lifeless, but stuck in the thoughts that were tumbling around her in mind. And the guilt hit him so hard; he swore that he had never felt so terrible. Never once had he imagined that he would see Alice look so lost, and he wanted to wipe that image from his mind and never remember it. But it wouldn't leave.

He walked forwards steadily, and twisted her around gently, taking her hands. She looked deep into his eyes, frowning, and searching. "I'm sorry, Alice." He murmured quietly, and caught her lips with his softly. She seemed undecided, and slowly pulled away from him.

"It doesn't matter." She said dismissively, turning from him and crossing the room.

"Yes, it does." He insisted, following her as she began to unzip her case and rummaged through it for her hairbrush.

Alice sighed and turned to him, hairbrush in hand, looking at him with those lifeless blue eyes, "Danny, my eighteen year old daughter has just turned up out of the blue after not talking to me for weeks, and you want to do this _now?" _

Danny sighed in disappointment. "Yeah. Yeah, okay, I understand-"

Alice's head snapped round to him, "Oh don't you bloody dare say you understand. You lost the right to say that weeks ago." She snapped, before turning brusquely out of the room.

"Alice-" He called after her, but she cut across him.

"Take as long as you want, Danny... I don't need you. Not anymore."

* * *

Charlotte Collins-Trevanion stared around the front room as she sat awkwardly on the sofa, waiting for her Mum and Danny to return from getting changed upstairs. She shivered slightly, the place just didn't seem... homely. It was all so quiet, too. Charlotte couldn't imagine living here, well maybe it was more that she couldn't imagine her Mum living here. Of course, for the first ten years of her life it had just been her and her Mum. But the memories of so were hazy. The only things she could remember was Leopard's Den. There was always so much going on, so much hustle and bustle and never a dull moment. But here... it was just so plain. So... just... It was so... lonely.

Charlotte stood up and wandered across the room, it was plain, four white walls and the basic furniture. There was a fireplace, though. Passing the TV, she came to a stop at the fireplace slowly, drawing to a stop almost sadly. Smiling softly, she fingered the the few ornaments upon it, which looked like they belonged to a woman. Charlotte set them back down and smiled wider as she came across a photo of a young Danny, grinning from ear to ear, cradling a small kitten to his chest. He couldn't have been more than six, at least.

She traced a finger across the fireplace as she walked along slowly, dragging her boots across the floor, each movement seemed much sadder than the last. Tears pricked her eyes as she noticed the last photo. Slowly, her trembling fingers picked it up and she headed back over to the sofa to examine it properly. She sat down and tucked a stray strand of her brown hair behind her ear, frowning as she took in the photo, wondering when it had been taken. At most, she would've only been fifteen. It was of her, Danny, Alice, Alex and Emma. Danny and Alice sat on the steps of Leopards Den, his arms around her shoulders and her head laying on his shoulder, grinning like chesire cats. Charlotte was sat on the floor in front, a two year old Emma sat on her lap, and a five year old Alex was laying on his side in front of them, poking his tongue out at the camera.

Charlotte's breath caught and she traced her own face with the tips of her fingertips, she looked happy and carefree, even if she was fifteen and growing up. She knew she had changed; she'd always been quite happy go lucky, but suddenly it had all changed. Even worse when Danny had left. Charlotte knew that her Mum was having trouble coping, but some reason she'd chosen to totally ignore that fact, and she'd began to feel slightly like Alice didn't rely on her anymore. It had always been her and Alice, always, before Danny came along. And Charlotte had thought that bond was still there but the moment Danny left it was like Alice had totally forgotten about her and only needed Danny. Charlotte had felt unwanted. Alice was trying to handle Emma and Alex, and it was as if she didn't care about Charlotte- and after a while, Charlotte had began to wonder whether that was because they were _Danny's _children... and Charlotte wasn't Danny's. She was a constant reminder of a stupid mistake Alice made when she was young.

So she had gone looking for attention. Dressing up for boys and gossiping with all the girls just so that she could have some attention. Of course, all the boys just used her, they didn't really feel anything for her. But she did feel special when they were paying attention to her. And she felt close to the girls when she was gossiping to them. They didn't like her for _her _though, just the girl that she became for them, and she had carried on, trying to act as if she was unaware of the fact. But every night it ate away at her. So, so much.

And then she had met Lewis. In a club, where you usually did, drunk so bad that everything else but meeting him was a blur and she had pratically thrown herself at him. He was three years older than her, twenty-one, and had smiled when he'd pushed her away, pulling her out of the club and into fresh air. He'd fetched her water and looked after her and held back her hair when she was sick. She tried to push him away, she didn't want to show weakness. But he'd ignored her protests and wrapped his jacket around her when he noticed she was shivering. Charlotte couldn't remember much after that, but had woke up on his sofa the following day.

Embarassed, she'd tried to leave quietly, but had been caught. He'd sat her back down on the sofa and gave her some tablets and water to help her headache. Then he'd calmly told her that she shouldn't go around getting drunk like that, at such a young age. Charlotte smiled softly at the memory, even though he was only three years older than her he was mature for his age. Lewis had let her use his phone but none of her friends answered, and then offered to take her home. Charlotte remembered how panicked she'd been then, what would her Mum think? Even though her Mum didn't care about her. She'd made up a stupid excuse and he'd just laughed. Then he'd taken her out for Lunch since she'd rejected his offer of taking her home, and had paid for it even when she had protested. He'd let her keep his jacket around her the rest of the day, since her dress had left not so little to the imagination. And she'd found him charming. He had actually paid attention to her, for her, not because she was easy and desperate. But just because she was her...

They'd met up many times, she'd given him her phone number. He'd taken her for meals, to beautiful spots of the bush for a walk and sometimes they'd just lounge around at his house talking and laughing. And he had made her feel so special. He really _understood _her. So, so much. After one month of knowing her, he'd said:

_"You have a really beautiful face, Charlie, but your personality isn't so beautiful. Why chuck yourself at men like that? You're gorgeous, sure, but you shouldn't do that. You should let them get to know you, the real you, there'd be more chasing after you than you think. Whatever you think about yourself isn't true. You're funny and intelligent and kind, and I wish you'd see that. Any man would be lucky to have you in their life. And you shouldn't use your looks like that. You need to find someone who understands you for you. Your Mum loves you, Charlotte, even if you think she doesn't- she's your Mum and loves you more than any man is capable of. Your brother and sister are still children, and you're not. Your Mum probably thinks you can handle it. She's all over the place, Charlie, don't blame her. What if you lost someone you loved? Would you be okay? I know you're strong but I know on the inside you'd be dying. You put up a great front- but don't think, don't think for one minute, that I don't see through that. Because I do. And seeing you hurt so much is unbearable. You are beautiful and no man with ever be worthy of you... and your Mum **loves **you."_

And suddenly she had leaned over and kissed him with such fire and passion, hands knotted in his hair as she pulled him close. And she cried gently. But he made her feel better. And sometime late into that night, between then gentle sighs, Charlotte had whispered, "I love you." And meant it.

And he'd said it, too. And he'd meant it.

Now all she had left of him was the engagement ring that hung on a chain around her neck, laying close to her heart, where Lewis always would be. The only thing she had left of him.

* * *

**A/N: I was gonna do the Charlotte/Alice talk but got a bit carried away with Charlotte!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Staying Strong**

The picture Charlotte was holding of all the family jostled slightly as she placed it back on the fireplace, and seeing something behind it, Charlotte frowned. She turned it around and opened it from behind, a folded piece of paper fluttering to the ground. She bent down and picked up the paper, placing the photo back on the side, frowning. She travelled back to the sofa as her eyes scanned the letter, her heart melting as she read the words that were inked upon the letter.

_Dear Mum,_

_I wish you'd let me come see you. I know that you don't want me to, but I haven't seen you in so long. I know that you're too ill to travel, but why won't you let me come over? Are you ashamed, is that it? Because you shouldn't be, Mum. I love you, whether you're ill or not. _

_I would come see you whether you like it or not, you know I would, I always go head first and ask questions later. But Alice talked me out of it. So, I guess, you should be thankful to her. She told me that maybe you wanted your space and didn't want me to see you this ill. Is that it, Mum? Has Alice got it right? Because, I wouldn't care what you look like, you know, no need to be strong for me. _

_The picture I've enclosed with this is of me, Alice and all the children. I know that you've never met Emma, you became ill a while before she was born, didn't you? Anyway, Emma is the gorgeous copy of Alice that Charlotte has on her lap. She's two now, but she's so mellow, Mum. Doesn't behave like a normal toddler. Is it weird to say that I think she's beyond her years? Even when Emma was a baby, she kept silent, didn't wail all to often, and when she stared around with those huge blue eyes of hers that are the copy of Alice's it was like she was taking in everything more than a normal baby... If that makes sense? But she's amazing, she really is. And unlike Alex, she's a Mummy's girl. Obviously, I try not to be hurt by this. After all, Alex is a huge Daddy's boy, and I've seen the rejection in Alice's eyes when he clings onto me instead of her, no matter how well she tries to mask it. So I know that she feels the same, and try not to be jealous; after all, the happiness that radiates on her face when Emma's around her is catchy. _

_Alex is five now. He's still the same, polite, playful little boy you met. He joined school a little while ago. His first day of school was one of the proudest moments of my life. Alice cried, too. Not when he was walking away, but when we were back in the jeep, driving back to Leopard's Den. She'd looked out at the African landscape and cried softly. I think that sometime's she still can't believe where she is now, after all the life that she's had and all the rubbish she's been through for Charlotte. I like to think I make her happy. _

_Charlotte's, god, she's grown into such a beautiful young woman. She may only be fifteen, but she looks much more mature. I love her as much as I love Emma and Alex, and I like to think of her as my own. You know that she calls me Dad, she has for years, but even though it's been so long my stomach flips with pride everytime. It's hard to believe that in three years time, she'll legally be an adult. I remember when she was nine and running amock, playing with all the animals and winding Dupe up. Time's gone by so quick- like I've blinked and suddenly, here I am. I find it hard to believe sometimes._

_And Alice? She's just the same Alice you met. You know she's over the moon that you like her. Her own parents weren't exactly to fond of her... But she's happy here, and that's all that matters to me. As long as her and the kids are happy then I'm over the moon. I don't know what I'd do without her, Mum. She's like a piece of me that was missing before I met her, like we fit together as easily as two piecies of a puzzle. If Alice wasn't around, I think I'd just fail to exist. Have you ever felt that much about anyone? Felt so attached, loved them so much you don't know what you'd do without them? It's good and it's bad, right? But as long as Alice is around I don't care. I love her so much, Mum. She's definately the one for me. She's beautiful and funny and caring and gorgeous and lovely and smart and I just **need **her so badly. I think she needs me, too. It's nice to be needed by somebody._

_And I love her. I love her so much. And I'm so glad that you like her, too, she's amazing. Once you really get to know her... You don't want anything, or anyone, else._

_I hope you change your mind about me coming to visit you._

_Love, Danny.  
xxx_

Charlotte almost wept as she read his unashamed declarations of love for them all. Her hands shook slightly and tears blurred her vision, but she sniffed and quickly wiped them away, afraid to show her emotions. Just like her Mum.

* * *

**A/N: I was gonna add the Charlotte/Alice talk to this, but I have a new fic that I want to start; and Chloe's encouraging me to start it so I'm gonna do so... I'm crazy!**


	16. Chapter 16

****

_Staying Strong_

___Just to clear up, Danny didn't go to England because of his Mum, the house they're staying in was his Mum's and the letter was supposed to be a keepsake of hers. _

_The summary for this story is "Something's up with Emma, Alex is being increasingly annoying, Charlotte has a secret, Danny's nowhere to be found and a face of the past for Alice leaves her wondering if her life is really what she wanted." - So, to recap: I haven't told you what's wrong with Emma, you know Alex has been/why Alex has been misbehaving, you know most of Charlotte's secret (Well, you don't know where Lewis is, do you? All you know is she's got the engagement ring on a chain "the only thing she had left of him", also she has another secret that only her and Lewis know about), You know where Danny is but you don't know why he's there, and Alice hasn't met this face of the past yet._

_I'll leave you to ponder on that =D _

After composing herself, Charlotte walked back over to the fireplace and placed the letter back into it's hiding place in the photo frame. She knew better than to intervene with her Mum and Dad, bringing in the letter wouldn't make things any better. She knew what it was like when you lost someone you lost, and she could understand why her Mum was acting so different, well Lewis had helped her understand, anyway. So she knew that if she told her Mum about the letter it would just make things worse, and probably ask Danny why he was hurting her if he loved her so much. Charlotte sighed and pushed away from the fireplace, wandering about the front room again.

A voice disturbed her, "Do you want a drink?" Her Mum's soft Scottish voice floated through the room. Charlotte always wished she had a Scottish accent instead of her own African one.

Charlotte turned, "No, I'm fine." She told her.

Alice nodded, "Right, well, okay." She mumbled awkwardly.

Charlotte sat back down on the sofa and Alice sat next to her. They sat in silence for a moment, Charlotte picking at her nails, waiting for her Mum to say something. While Alice sat, twirling her hair around her fingers, trying to think of something to say. Alice sighed and sat back, and Charlotte looked around at her, meeting her eyes.

"I've told you I'm sorry, Charlie, and I'll never be able to explain how much." Alice whispered, bowing her head in her hands, "It's scarred me, Charlotte. I've never raised a hand to any of you and I've told myself I _never _would. But I just saw red, Charlotte, you know I was all over the place, and I just... Charlie... I'm so sorry..." Alice broke off and looked away when her voice wobbled and tears pricked her eyes.

Charlotte realised she'd gained the trait of not allowing anyone to see her cry or just generally be insecure from her Mum. She shuffled closer to Alice and nudged her slightly. Alice sniffed and wiped her eyes, looking back up at Charlotte. "It's okay, Mum. I don't blame you. I said some pretty horrible things to you, I..." Charlotte paused. She was like her Mum, she wasn't extremely open, so it was difficult for her. She'd never be able to explain to her the reasons why she said so many horrible things; she said them because she was scared, because she was confused, because she was lost and because she felt vulnerable over being in love and didn't know what to do. So how did she explain that? Charlotte exhaled and turned back to her Mum, "I'm sorry. It's my fault. I shouldn't have wound you up like that. I forgive you, Mum."

Alice sniffed, "I don't forgive myself though." She mumbled.

"Well you should." Charlotte encouraged her.

Alice laughed nervously, "This is all wrong. You're my daughter, and I'm your Mum. I should be comforting you, not the other way around."

"Well our family's never really been normal anyway, has it?" Charlotte asked rhetorically, smiling.

"That's true, I'll give you that." Alice said, smiling softly in return. "But Charlie... You..." Alice took a deep breath, "You can't just... Go around marrying people. It's a huge step. One I've always been..." Alice closed her eyes, "One I was always afraid of. I wasn't married 'til my mid-30's; and now look at me. I'm in a mess." Alice opened her eyes again and sighed, "You... Charlotte you're eighteen... You're probably not even in love and even that doesn't make a marriage-"

Charlotte flew to her feet, "Like hell I'm in love!" She cried.

Alice sighed, "Charlie, you're just a child-"

"No I'm not!" Charlotte yelled, waving her arms widly as she yelled, "I'm nearly nineteen years old; I'm classified as an adult! And age doesn't effect when you can fall in love!"

Alice sat back and ran her hands over her face wearily. She couldn't be dealing with another argument with Charlotte already, she had only just got her back. She was so difficult to handle when they argued. Charlotte was so much like her that it was actually hard to even like her sometimes! She was way too god damned stubborn, even worse than Alice, and hated to admit she was wrong. And she was extremely protective, also like Alice she hated telling people how she felt, always afraid that they'd think less of her. Alice could only blame herself for all that though, because these were only traits that Charlotte had picked up from her.

"Charlotte, I thought I was in love when I was your age-"

"Yes, I know the story, Mum!" Charlotte said sharply, "It's so fabulous, constantly being reminded that I'm the constant reminder of some huge mistake you made when you were just 'a kid'. I don't need to be told how much you regret me all the time!"

Alice looked at her blankly, "You're not a regret. I love you, Charlotte, for christs' sake. I don't care about the huge mistake I made, I got you out of it, and that's all that matters. But my point is-"

"No, Mum. Just no!" Charlotte cried, voice growing shriller as time passed. "You don't know how I feel! I _love _Lewis!"

Alice groaned, "But my point is Charlotte, you may love him but you might not be _in _love with him."

Tears pricked Charlotte's eyes and she turned on her heel sharply, exhaling and trying to keep calm as she paced up and down the room. She knew that she had a bad temper sometimes when she really got wound one, one which she undoubtingly gained from her Mum. That was what made it so hard sometimes, knowing that they were both the same. It made the arguments worse because Charlotte knew that neither of them would back down. And she hated that. And she hated her Mum for that. And she hated herself for that.

"I am, Mum. He... Notices me. Makes me feel all... Well, I can't explain it. He completes me... He understands me." She mumbled softly, rubbing her forearms softly with a frown on her face before turning back to Alice. She sighed and pulled her fingers through her hair, "Besides, who said I was gonna marry him anyway?"

Alice stared at her in shock, "But... he proposed to you... I..." Alice mumbled weakly.

"I'm not stupid, y'know. I'm nineteen, I'm way too young to be married, well that's what I think anyway. And that isn't because I don't love him, because I do. It's because I know I can wait and so can he. We could both wait a thousand years. Because we love each other- because we're in love. And my age doesn't effect that, okay? And the sooner you accept that the better. I turned him down for you, too, Mum. You needed me even though you may not know it. I don't remember much when I was little, before Leopard's Den, but I remember enough to know that it was just the two of us. And that you needed me and I needed you." Charlotte took a deep breath, this was hard for her. She didn't do _feelings. _"And you may not need me as much anymore. You have Danny, well you did, and you have Alex and Emma. But I still need you. And some tiny part needed me, especially back in Africa. Mum, to be honest, you were more than a mess- it hurt me to look at you. I felt your pain just by looking at you, Mum. But here you're better because you've got Danny, and he makes you happy."

Alice eyed Charlotte, "But that still doesn't explain why you didn't accept Lewis' proposal."

Charlotte sighed and sat down next to her Mum, avoiding looking her in the eye, playing with her hands in her lap. "I didn't want to go off with some man. As much as I love Lewis, you mean more to me than any man ever will, 'cause you're my Mum. And I needed to be there for you, and I didn't want to hurt you."

Alice reached out and gripped her daughter in a huge vice grip. They both clung to each other desperately, a couple tears leaking from their eyes, just sitting in the moment. Alice tried hard not to cry, she really did. This was Charlotte's moment now. She should've been grateful for Charlotte, which she was, but she couldn't but feel guilty. Maybe her little girl was in love. Alice had a hard time accepting that fact; she could still remember the first time she had ever held Charlotte when she was just a baby. But it was possible that Charlotte was. She was an adult now, she was all grown up, and she had found a man who loved her- and Alice had taken that away from her because she was too lost in her own self-wallowing. She vowed she'd never let anything like that happen ever again.

They pulled away from their tight hug. "Thankyou, Charlie. I love you, honey." Alice whispered, throat constricting.

"I love you too, Mum." Charlotte murmured.

Alice smiled, "Now, do I ever get to meet this Lewis?"

Charlotte's eyes suddenly turned downcast and she shrugged her Mums arms from her shoulders, hand reaching up for the engagement ring hanging from the chain around her neck.


	17. Chapter 17

**Staying Strong**

_Lyrics used in this chapter is from the song Until We Bleed. They're in italics._

_I also apologize for this chapter in advance; Danice fans will not be pleased. Also, if you're offended by any kind-of sexual references do NOT read the last bit. They're not that bad, but this is T for a reason; and I have seen worse in T fics.. Obviously that means it's not full-blown smut, I'd never write that anyway, but I do get away with certain things on a T rating :P_

_Also, the ending was much better before. But then FF didn't save it and logged me out for some unknown reason and I had to re-write it. -_-_

_

* * *

_

Charlotte stood and forced a smile at her Mum, then wandered towards the kitchen, "I'm thirsty." She said.

"You weren't earlier." Alice stated, following her. "Charlotte, what's going on? Where's Lewis?"

Charlotte began to search through the cupboards for a mug, "It doesn't matter." She replied.

Alice took hold of Charlotte by her shoulders and spun around, forcing her to look her in the eye. "Charlotte, where is he?" Alice demanded.

Charlotte sighed, tears filling her eyes. She looked up her Mum and the tears began to fall down her face. "I..." Charlotte cleared her throat, "I could wait forever for him. But I don't want him to wait forever for me. You needed me, Mum, more than he needs me." Charlotte let out a slow breath and pinched the bridge of her nose as her voice threatened to waver, "I told him I loved him. I told him to be happy. I told him to go and find someone who loved him and made him happy in ways that I can't." Charlotte shrugged, "He refused. Told me that he loved me too much. That I was the only person he would ever love. So then I said goodbye and drove back to Leopard's Den... And I never spoke to him again."

Alice frowned, "But you said he refused?"

Charlotte wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve, they were slightly red already as the tears thickly fell. "He didn't know where I lived. Only had my number. So I blocked him on that, and that was the end of it; until I got the letter. He'd given it to a friend who'd given it to a friend ecetera ecetera. And I knew one day he'd come find me. That was what made me leave Leopard's Den. Not because of you, but because I was scared; and I wanted to show him I was serious. I don't want him to wait around for me- because I don't want him to hurt. So I hope that by leaving him, he'll find someone who can make him happy. Because I can't do that, Mum..." Charlotte whispered, "I don't even know how to make myself happy."

Alice flung her arms around her daughter. And they wept.

* * *

Danny and Alice had been civil the rest of the day. Charlotte had moved in, unluckily she had the smallest room since it was the only one left but she didn't mind, not really. She didn't plan on staying in it often, anyway, she hated to be alone now. Being alone meant she had too much time to think. And when she thought... well, bad things happened. So she was sociable. She played with Emma and fooled around with Alex. She helped Alice cook the dinner, singing with her when their favourite song came on the radio on and they danced around without a care in the world, and then once she was worn out and she wasn't any help to Alice anymore, she rest on the sofa with Danny. He held his arm out for her and she curled into his side, before whispering, "Help her, Dad."

But it was during the dinner that things got bad. They weren't quite sure how it happened, but one comment made Alice flip at Danny, and suddenly they were arguing. Well, Alice was doing a hell of a lot of yelling. Danny was just defending himself. Charlotte quickly grabbed Emma and Alex and forced them both to go upstairs so that they didn't see their parents fight. Charlotte wasn't innocent enough for that anymore, to hide under her pillow and pretend the rest of the world didn't exist, but they were. They went up without a word, even Alex, and then she headed back into the front room, intent on stopping them from fighting. But she was too late.

"You're not going anywhere!" She heard Danny cry as she walked back in.

Alice grabbed her purse and keys off the side, she whirled around to Danny with the look of a madwoman on her face, "You bloody hypocrite! You left me alone in Africa with our kids and you try and tell me I'm not allowed to go and get some fresh air? You bastard!" She hissed.

Danny grabbed Alice's arm as she turned, "Alice, please-"

"Get off me, Danny!"

"He's right, Mum, you can't go anywhere in this state, please, calm down." Charlotte begged.

"That's the whole bloody reason I'm going! To bloody calm down!"

And then she lashed out and kicked Danny, painfully, and Charlotte gasped.

Danny stared at her in shock, letting go of her almost immeadiately. Alice stormed out the room without a backwards glance, and rejection stung Charlotte, but she knew not to be selfish. This was about her Mum and Dad, not her. She could hear Alice grabbing her shoes in the hallway but she simply stood in shock, staring at Danny. He stared at the door which Alice had flounced out of, his expression showing nothing. He was just completely blank. In shock. Like Charlotte.

Alice appeared in the doorway, pointing an accusing finger at Danny, "Now you'll have to experience what it feels like to be left alone with kids to look out for!" She pratically roared, before thundering out of the door, slamming the door behind her.

Charlotte swallowed, "Dad, she doesn't mean it."

Danny looked down at the floor, "She does, Charlie." He whispered softly. "I think I've messed up too much. We're too far gone to be repaired."

"Dad-"

"You know it's true." Danny muttered, before exiting the room and leaving Charlotte standing on her own in the front room uselessly, wishing that she could just go back in time to before things had gone bad and be able to live in that one happy moment forever.

* * *

Alice wasn't quite sure how she had ended up in the nightclub. God knows why she'd gone there. She was in her forties, she didn't belong. But she had just found herself here. Once she'd left the house, she had gone for a long drive, headed in no certain direction. Just driving. Clearing her head. And then nightfall had come and she had bought a hell of a load of wine from Tesco's, and suddenly she had thought it a bright idea to go out and get completely and utterly wasted. She'd bought a dress, and slutty little black thing that barely reached her thighs and showed a helluva lot of cleavage, and coated herself in make-up. Once she'd arrived at the nightclub, she was already half-drunk from the wine she'd bought, half of which was still hiding in her car. Yet they had let her in, and the first thing she had bought was the most alcholoic drink avaliable, not thinking of the consequences.

Alice closed her eyes as she danced along to the song blasting throughout the club.

_I'm naked_  
_I'm numb_

The ground was vibrating at each beat, the volume of the song drowning out any yells anyone might be doing. Though to be honest, why they'd even bother trying to have a conversation with the volume of the music was beyond her. She kept her eyes closed and just danced, vodka in hand and following the crowd. Most people ignored her, the lonely woman on the dancefloor, and she didn't blame them. As more people danced around her and the smell of sweat began to get to her, Alice quickly raised her vodka to her lips and chugged mouthfuls. The taste of pure vodka burned her throat, but she ignored it. She only had one reason for drinking anyway, and it wasn't for pleasure.

_I'm stupid_  
_I'm staying_  
_And if Cupid's got a gun, then he's shootin'_

Most people came here for a good time. They came here with friends, to meet people and have a laugh. Just like with their drinking. But Alice hadn't come here for fun. Oh no, of course not. The raw pain inside her  
was too much to ignore or hide anymore. She was falling apart. And so with every beat of the music she was there to let the music overtake her, and all the bodies jam-packed on the floor, aswell as the drink. They drunk for the fun of it. But she didn't.

Alice Trevanion drank to forget.

_Lights black_  
_Heads bang_  
_You're my drug_  
_We live it_

She drank to forget all the pain that she was experiencing. She wanted to forget the fact that her husband who had once worshipped the ground she walked on seemed to have completely forgotten about her. She wanted to forget that he had almost abadoned her and their kids and everything they once had was gone. She wanted to forget that it was because of him that she was falling apart. She wanted to forget that this was all her fault. She wanted to forget that she had always been strong before Danny, and then had become foolish and vulnerable because of him. She wanted to forget that she was letting her daughter down. She wanted to forget that it was because of her Charlotte had given up the man she loved.

_You're drunk_  
_You need it_  
_Real love_  
_I'll give it_

She wanted to forget that because she was such a bad mother she had missed seeing Charlotte was going through a hard time. She wanted to forget that she had hit Charlotte. She wanted to forget that because she was such a bad mother her son didn't love her. She wanted to forget that because she was such a bad mother that her son was afraid of her. She wanted to forget that the only person she hadn't ruined in her life was Emma. She wanted to forget that Emma was already damaged. She wanted to forget that Emma was ill even though she didn't know what it was. She wanted to forget that she seemed to be the only one that cared that Emma was ill. She wanted to forget the nights she had laid wide awake wondering how she had got herself into this situation. She wanted to forget every person who had ever took advantage of her. She wanted to forget everything she had gone through in her life. She wanted to forget all the times she had cried. She wanted to forget all the times that she had lost it. She wanted to forget how she had physically hurt Danny. She wanted to forget the pain. She wanted to forget everything.

_So we're bound to linger on_  
_We drink the fatal drop_  
_Then love until we bleed_  
_Then fall apart in parts_

Alice stopped chugging when she found no more liquid left in the bottle. She groaned in frustration and stared at the empty bottle, staggering to the right slightly. She carried on regardless, pushing her way throught the crowds in search for the bar. She eventually managed to stagger there, placing the bottle on the bar. Even in her drunk state she knew better than to just throw it on the floor. She turned, frowning as she struggled to walk in a straight line, but smiled as she accomplished her goal of getting back inbetween the dancing bodies on the dancefloor. She even did a half-dance to celebrate.

_You wasted your times_  
_On my heart_

Alice felt a pair of hands on her waist from behind, and a body press against hers. She blinked slowly, dazed, but then leant back against them, dancing against them, not thinking properly in her drunken state. They leaned down and said in her ear, "You're the hottest older woman I've ever seen!"

Alice giggled girlishly, and turned in his arms so that they were face to face. He was young, only in his mid-20's at most, with dark brown eyes and light blonde hair and pixie-like figures, all sharp and jutting out. He wasn't that much taller than her, either, and she wasn't even in that high heels! But somehow he was still cute, and she couldn't help thinking how he was the complete opposite to Danny. This thought compelled her to drape her arms around his neck, smiling sultrily at him.

"Why thanks." She slurred, "Though don't you have school to be up for in the morning?" She teased.

He smirked, "Hot and funny. What more could I ask for?"

Alice blinked slowly, and another sultry smile spread across her face. "And what makes you think I'll be inter... inter... interested... in a little boy like you?" She asked, lowering her voice as she looked up at him through her eyelashes.

_You've burned_  
_And if bridges gotta fall, then you'll fall, too_

He dipped his head down so that his lips brushed her ear as he spoke, "Well, I'm sure I'll surprise you." He whispered huskily, running his hands along her waist and holding her closer to him. He nibbled her ear lobe gently before murmuring, "And I'm sure you'll teach me a thing or two, being the experienced, sexy, older woman that you are."

Alice swallowed, trying to control herself from leaping with joy over the fact that her seduction had worked. Her head was a little muddled up with thoughts of Danny entering here and then, but she pushed them away, almost staggering backwards. But this man, she didn't even know his name, held onto her, holding her so that her body was touching his in intimate ways, and he smiled down at her.

She knew she shouldn't.

But she didn't listen.

"T...Then why don't you show me?" She whispered seductively into his ear, her tongue darting out for the slightlest moment.

He reached down and englufed her lips with his own.

_Doors slam_  
_Lights black_

As he lead her outside he informed her that his name was Tom and she'd told him her name was Alice. Alice was struggling to stand now, comepletely disorientated, but Tom didn't seem to notice.

_You're gone  
Come back_

He pulled her through the fire exit, out into the dirty alley.

_Stay gone_  
_Stay clean_

He pushed her up against the wall, lips never leaving her own. She arched her back so that the length of her body was against his, sighing in his mouth. This was something that she had missed so desperately. Physical contact. She had missed this so badly, and she didn't care how much of a sex-maniac that made her sound like, she was only human. She gasped into Toms mouth as his fingers found the hem of her dress, and he pulled away from her lips to press hot kisses across her collarbone.

_I need you_  
_To need me_

These rough, demanding kisses weren't what she was used to, they were full of unfamiliarity. She missed those tender, loving ones that she had so desperately wanted. But in the end she didn't care. She was too far gone now, no control over her as her breathing started to come in short breaths, passion overriding all her emotions.  
_  
So we're bound to linger on_  
_We drink the fatal drop_  
_Then love until we bleed_  
_Then fall apart in parts_

Tom pulled away suddenly, fingers still tracing light patterns at the top of her thighs, the bottom of her dress having been bunched up around her waist. "You're married her murmured."

Alice rolled her eyes, "I'd no...noticed." She slurred, head rolling slightly limply as she tried and failed to nod.

He laughed, "What, he not around to please you?" He raised his eyebrows.

Alice frowned. "Yeah." She said softly. "Yeah, something like that."

Tom winked at her, "Don't worry, I will." He promised her huskily as his fingers travelled further up her thighs.

_Now we're bound to linger on_  
_We drink the fatal drop_  
_Then love until we bleed_

She felt dirty. She felt wrong. She felt like a slut.

But she also liked it. Some people may have seen it as wrong, but she felt needed. She felt wanted. Something that had been a long forgotten feeling for her. Sure, Tom may have only been using her for his own personal pleasure, she knew that. But he still wanted and needed her for something, unlike everyone else. Charlotte had grown up, she wasn't a little girl anymore, and she had found love. Danny, well, she couldn't even think about him, but he didn't want her or need her, everything they once had was gone. And Alex, her little boy, well he didn't love her; he was afraid of her. And Emma... Emma was just the little lost child in the midst of all of it.

So while it may not have been Tom's name that was ripped from her lips, it was still him that made her feel needed. And all thoughts flew out of her mind, her goal of that night achieved.

And that achievement? It was to forget. Everything.

And that was the worst part.

_Then fall apart in parts_


	18. Chapter 18

**Staying Strong**

Alice lurched in the vague direction of her car. Well, not her car, Danny's car, she reminded herself bitterly. She had almost forgotten (which was what she had wanted to do) that Danny had built himself a life over here in England, minus her and their children. But soon it all came flooding back into her drunken mind and she laughed out loud. People she staggered past gave her wary looks and briskly walked past her, but the hazy fog was settling itself on her mind now and she was pretty sure that she was going to be sick so she didn't pay attention to them. She fought away the bile that rose to her throat, intent on at least getting back to the car first.

Unfortunately for Alice, it didn't work like that; it never did. The feeling that she was going to vomit rose back quickly and her stomach rolled. Desperately, Alice drunkenly staggered towards the nearest alley and was violently sick, her body heaving. She felt dreadful, she hadn't been so wasted like this since before Charlotte had been born, and she was pretty sure she never would again. Her body couldn't cope with it. And it was going to be one hell of a hangover in the morning, she could tell, and she groaned loudly at the mere thought of it whilst she slid down the wet wall of the alley.

Alice crumpled to the ground, and rest her head upon her knees, exhaling slowly and closing her eyes. For one moment, she actually wished that Danny were there to hold back her hair and tell her she'd be fine. But he wasn't here. She was alone.

"Are you alright?"

Alice raised her head and looked around blearily at the sound of a familiar Scottish voice. She frowned at the figure, trying to see through the fog which had settled upon her mind properly, but failed this task. So she gave up and rest her head against her kness again, moaning.

"What's your name?"

Alice shook her head, "Go-way..." She slurred, and batted a hand at them when they leant down and took her arm.

They chuckled, "C'mon, you can't stay here all night. It's not safe. Can I drop you off somewhere? Where do you live?" The woman asked. Alice had figured out it was a woman by now.

They tried to help her to her feet but she pushed them away, scowling, "Gerroff me!" She muttered, and let her head fall back against the wall.

The woman sighed, "Please, at least tell me your name."

"Alice..." She sighed half-coherently.

If Alice had been able to see properly, she would've seen the woman smile. "I thought so."

Alice tried to look threatening, "Why? ...Who're you?" She asked accusingly, trying to stab a finger at them but missed and slumped to the ground.

She laughed, and helped Alice back up so that she was sitting. The woman sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I knew someone called Alice..." She sighed, smiling, "She was exactly like you."

Alice snored loudly.

She laughed, and muttered under her breath,"It _is _you. Oh Alice Collins, I've missed you!" And then she eventually helped the sleeping Alice to her feet and took her home, keeping a safe distance from the smell of Alice's breath though... She feared just one whiff of it would make her drunk, too!

* * *

Charlotte watched from the doorway as Danny sat at the table, staring into a bottle of beer. It was eleven at night. He hadn't moved from his spot for a couple hours, not even drinking the beer. Charlotte was sure that it was flat by now. She sighed and pushed away from the doorway and headed up the stairs. First, she entered Alex's room. He was already sound asleep, oblivious to all the problems around him. She closed the door softly. Then she crossed the hall and opened Emma's door. She looked up, big blue eyes curious and watering, and then buried her head back in her pillow. Charlotte smiled, Emma was terrible at pretending to be asleep.

Charlotte sat on the edge of Emma's bed and smoothed down her brown hair. Emma gave up the pretence of being asleep and looked up at Charlotte, "When's Mummy coming back, Charlotte?" She whispered, teary-eyed.

Charlotte swallowed, "Soon." She lied, "But just remember, you've got me, Emma. I'm always here for you. All of you."

Emma nodded softly and her eyes fluttered shut, "Night, sissy."

Charlotte smiled fondly, and leant down to kiss her forehead softly. "G'night, sissy." She whispered into Emma's hair.

She left the room slowly, making sure that the door was left open a fraction to let light in. Emma was afraid of the dark. Then she travelled back downstairs and found, like she had expected really, a sleeping Danny slumped over the table. She sighed and took the half-empty beer bottle from his hand, and then took away the plates that they'd eaten from at dinner that hadn't been cleared away. She dimmed the lights of the dining room, just incase he woke up and wanted to find his way to his room, and then left him to his sleeping.

Charlotte reached her bedroom, exhausted, and flopped down onto her bed. It was similar to how Alice had just weeks before. Except for instead of running her hands wearily across her face, it was along the barely noticeable indents at the bottom of her forearms.

* * *

Alice's head was thumping.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

She opened her eyes, dazed when she found herself in an unfamiliar room. She frowned. Alice cast her mind back to the night before...

Nothing.

No, wait.

A club.

Yes, she had definately been at a club.

And there was a man...

The alley!

Alice's face burned with shame at the memory. Oh god, she hadn't been thinking straight. What was wrong with her? Okay, she hadn't regretted getting that drunk. She had forgotten, after all. And that was what she had wanted. But she regretted sleeping in that alley with a man she didn't even remember the name of; had she even found out what his name was? Had he known her name? Alice couldn't think, all there was after that was nothing and just little snippets of her... encounter with the man.

Someone opened the door and Alice's heart leapt to her throat. Oh god, she hadn't, had she? She hadn't gone back to his house, right? Alice wouldn't be able to handle it. She wasn't a saint, she wasn't saying she had never had a one night stand in her younger years, but god... she was forty- and married! Not that she felt like she was married anymore. And neither was she happy about it.

A woman slipped into the room holding a mug of coffee. She looked like she was in her mid-thirties. She had light brown hair and dark, chocolate brown eyes, a friendly, sympathetic smile on her face. Alice gasped, a hand covering her mouth, staring at the woman in shock. Alice was pretty sure that she was going to faint. The woman laughed at Alice's reaction and sat beside her on the bed, patting her hand and passing her the coffee. Alice took it wordlessly.

"Hey, Alice." The woman said softly, aware that Alice would have a huge headache.

Alice's hand fell from her mouth, and she just stared in shock. "Bloody hell." She muttered.


	19. Chapter 19

**Staying Strong**

_Well... I think I've left quite a decent gap between the two updates to leave you lot wondering who the stranger is ;) But who said I'd reveal who they are in this chapter?  
I'm joking, I'm not THAT mean! But, I do hope it makes sense who they are... and you're not freaked out by who they are. Also, sorry for making Alice seem like a bit of a slag in this fic :L Let's call it a mid-life crisis? :') _

_

* * *

_

"I'm not that scary-looking am I?" She joked nervously at Alice's reaction.

Alice swallowed, "You don't look a day over 30..." Alice looked her up and down, not bothering to even hide it, "Look at you, Skye!" She gushed, "Wish I'd been able to keep my figure." Alice pouted, envying her.

Skye smiled sadly, "I always thought you were beautiful. You still are." She admitted quietly, looking down at the ground with her quiet brown eyes, some of her brown hair fell in front of her face, hiding her blush. Alice smiled fondly.

"Thankyou." Alice murmured gently, "So are you."

* * *

Charlotte led Alex and Emma up the stoney path towards Sam's parents house. Emma was clinging to her older sisters hand like her life depended on it, and Alex was simply following behind unwillingly, kicking a stone in front of him the whole way. Charlotte sighed and rang the doorbell. She had no other choice but to leave them with Sam and Evan for a while (Sam had happily accepted this, she loved looking after them) while she had a chat with Danny and try to figure out where her Mum had ended up. Charlotte had known that she wouldn't have come back in the night, but she was still worried. She was so, so worried.

* * *

Skye tucked the strands of hair which had fallen in front of her face behind her ear and turned to Alice with cheeks that were still slightly red, smirking. "You make me feel like a teenager again." She told her shyly.

Alice smiled, "You remind me that you were the only one there for me."

Skye blushed a deep shade of crimson again.

* * *

Charlotte had never been a fan of Sam's parents. She knew that her Mum didn't like them all too much, either. They manipulated Sam. They really did. But luckily, they were out when Charlotte dropped Alex and Emma off at the house. Sam had opened the door with a warm smile on her face, long orange hair tied back in a messy bun and what seemed to be flour on her face, Bryce standing behind her licking melted chocolate from a spoon. Charlotte hoped that, if it ever happened, she'd be a good a mother as Sam was; Nothing the children did seemed to phase her, and she could always control them. She was born to be a Mum. Charlotte sighed. She wished that her own Mum knew she was a good Mum, too.

* * *

Alice took a nervous swallow of the coffee that Skye had made for her, wincing slightly as she moved too quickly and her head protested in pain. Skye noticed her reaction and tittered nervously. Alice sighed, placing her head in one of her hands, before letting a long groan escape her. Skye took the coffee from her hands, and Alice looked up, frowning and raising her eyebrows in confusion. Skye swallowed. "Do you want me to get you some aspirin?" She asked caringly. Alice smiled, Skye had always been looking out for the welfare of others.

Alice shook her head, "No, makes me feel worse." She noticed Skye frowned and shrugged, "Dunno why."

Skye placed the cup of coffee on the beside table. Alice reached out and took Skye's hand slowly, swallowing nervously as she felt feelings stir inside of her that had long since been forgotten. Skye's eyes snapped up to Alice's, and Alice found herself lost in those gorgeous warm brown eyes of hers. They were so warm and open; and that was one of the things that Alice had loved about Skye. Alice's eyes trailed across her face, noting all the differences that had come with age, all parts which had filled out slightly and the curves that she was sure hadn't been there before. She was still gorgeous, Alice decided. She always had been. Ever since the first day Alice had met her, that was the first thing she noticed about her, her beauty. It was such natural beauty. Skye had left Alice unable to string a coherent sentence together.

Skye inhaled shakily, "Alice..." She murmured softly, eyes not leaving Alice. _God, those beautiful sapphire eyes; still as beautiful as before._

"Skye... I..." Alice had a lot to say. Things she had to get off her chest. Her and Skye had a lot of past. A lot of past which she was scared to think about; which was why she had never got back in contact with Skye after... after the incident.

"Are you even sorry, Alice?" Skye asked, hurt lacing her scottish tones.

Tears gathered in Alice's eyes and she squeezed Skye's hands tightly, "Of course I am, Skye." She murmured, "I still love you! I never stopped!" She whispered, tears falling from her eyes.

"You used me." Skye accused her viciously, "And then you just _dropped _me like I never meant anything to you!"

"No, Skye, I didn't! I love you! You _know _I'd _never _lie to you... Richard was a mistake." Alice begged her to believe her.

"Then why did you leave, Alice?" Skye demanded, tears falling freely from her eyes, just like Alice. "Why did you just leave everything we had if you loved me. YOU said we could get through it but YOU left!" Skye tore her hands from Alice's and leapt to her feet. "You didn't even say GOODBYE! I put up with SO much shit from you Alice because I LOVED you and you just LEFT! We were so good together! But all the time you were just using me for your own SICK little needs!"

Alice was ignoring the banging headache she had and the way her stomach lurched when she leapt from the bed to stand face to face with a angry Skye. Skye's chest was heaving, each breath ragged after her rant. She took a few tentative steps forward and took Skye's hands in her own again, softly intertwining their fingers together, they weaved together so perfectly. Skye looked down at their twined hands, trying to control her cries, and then back up at Alice, who stood barely millimeters from her.

"I was pregnant, Skye." Alice told her quietly, "I didn't want to leave you. But my Dad was ashamed; he was so ashamed over me and you already and he just..." Alice took a sharp breath, fighting away the horrible memories. "And I was so ashamed of myself, too. I love you so, so much Skye and I didn't want to hurt you; and I thought if I left you... I thought that if I left you, then you'd find someone who could make you a million times happier than I ever could."

Skye's expression crumpled. "You know it doesn't work like that, you daft tart." She whispered.

Alice closed the distance between them, eyes fluttering close instinctively. Her lips brushed against Skye's softly; so different to what she was used to. So sweet and soft and smooth...

* * *

_A/N: Just incase you didn't get it, Skye is Alice's ex-girlfriend. And if you're homophobic, don't even talk to me cos I WILL eat you alive! Anyway, what do you think? Was it unexpected enough? I like surprising you ^_^ Who did you expect Skye to be? :L _


	20. Chapter 20

**Staying Strong**

Charlotte hesitated at the doorframe as she was on her way to leave Sam and Evans house. Alex was mucking around with Bryce, crashing and leaping around the front room, making loud, irritating noises with a huge grin on his face. Whereas Emma had curled herself up on her side on the sofa, staring at the TV with unseeing blue eyes, the copy of her Mums. Alex dived onto the sofa beside her, Bryce shrieking and following suit, but she didn't even flinch. Neither did she flinch when Alex leapt back off the sofa and Bryce clambered onto his back. She just stared at the TV. And Charlotte felt one of the biggest pangs of sorrow streak through her; it seemed as if Emma had been stripped of a childhood. She looked like she had.

Charlotte wished that Emma would be a normal little girl. She wished that she'd be distracted by glitter and jewelery and dresses. But she wasn't, and she never had been. Some people thought that it was amazing that Emma was like that, but Charlotte couldn't help but feel sad whenever she thought of her little sister. Emma was too grown-up for such a little child and Charlotte could tell she felt almost as much sadness as she did when the only sadness that a child should feel should be over not getting an ice cream when the ice cream van drove down their street. That was the childhood innocence that they were supposed to have. But Emma had never had that. And, Charlotte supposed, neither had she. And just look at her now.

Sam grabbed Alex as he tried to throw himself off the sofa and then grabbed Bryce, promptly telling them off and sending them up to Bryce's room to play. Charlotte took a step forward towards Emma. She had a million and one things to say to that little girl. Because she didn't want Emma to turn out like herself. There were so many things, right on the tip of her tongue, that should've, needed to, be said. But Charlotte sighed and turned away from the sad-looking little girl with a heavy heart. She could never say them. That would make her a hypocrite. And that was the worst thing in the world, to her. And she would never be enough to be what Emma needed. Emma needed her Mum, an amazing woman. The woman Charlotte always aspired to be but never could be. Charlotte would simply never be enough.

"I'll be back soon." Charlotte promised honestly from the doorway.

Emma sniffed, "Don't come back until you have Mummy." She whispered hoarsely, delicate tears threading through her eyelashes and then spilling to the floor.

That was all that was needed to be said for Charlotte to know that she would never, ever be enough.

* * *

"So... you're married?" Skye asked, perching herself back down on the bed, red cheeks slightly flushed.

Alice cleared her throat, "Oh, yeah. I am." She murmured, gently sitting down beside Skye. She laughed bitterly, "You know, I forgot I was."

Skye stared at her with wide eyes, "Why are you happy about that?"

Alice grinned, "Because that means I'm getting over it. I can forget."

"By drinking the equivalent of the north sea?" Skye scowled. "You were so wasted when I found you! I've never seen anything like it. What has gotten into you, Alice?"

"Life, Skye... Just life."

* * *

Charlotte wandered the streets of London cluelessly. People bustled around on the pavements and jostled her out of their way and were just plain rude but didn't they notice how _desperate _she was? She hadn't any clue where she was going, and how was she going to find her Mum? Danny was looking, too. But Alice had one advantage: The car. She'd taken the car. Which had reduced their search to foot. But London was a huge city, she could be anywhere. And she might not have stayed in London, either. Anywhere.

Their search was hopeless.

Charlotte walked on for hours, feet aching and throat calling for a drink but she didn't stop. She was lost but she hadn't admitted it yet, she had her phone, anyway, so she was sure she'd be able to get back somehow. But she was stuck in a trance. Everything was hopeless. Maybe her Mum had... Charlotte could barely think about the idea, but it was just a thought... Maybe her Mum had left them for good. Finally had grown sick of them dragging her down. Everything was falling to pieces. Her Mum had seen that right from the very beginning, Charlotte realised, but it had only just caught up on her and felt like a huge weight was pressed down on her shoulders, pushing her down, further and further...

Charlotte found herself walking down a grey, monotone road with terraced houses and flats down one end, just like every other street in London. The pavements were cracked and her feet stumbled slightly and tears glistened in her eyes. Maybe her Mum had left them. She'd see why her Mum would leave her, what was Charlotte other than a reminder of a mistake she made when she was young? And she had said so, so many horrible things to her Mum, things that she would never be able to take back. And she could see why Alice would abandon Danny, he had left her and it was a spiteful revenge. But Alex and Emma? Well, Alex _was _a Daddy's boy, was always pining for Danny and never took into account what his Mum might be feeling and just moaned and constantly reminded Alice of Danny. But Emma? _Emma? _She was fragile and little and so, _so _messed up for a five year old. How could anyone leave her behind?

Someone like Charlotte could.

* * *

"I don't understand." Skye said, frowning.

Alice sighed and laid back on the bed, staring up at the blank ceiling. "Everything's so wrong and it's all my fault. I wasn't strong enough."

Skye lay beside her, and didn't say a word. Instead, she simply reached out and moulded her fingers with Alice's.

* * *

Charlotte closed her eyes and jammed her headphones into her ears. She slowly closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, allowing her body to relax. Those tense muscles to unwind.

She focused on nothing. Absolutely nothing. Which was supposed to be impossible but now she supposed that she had sunk so far that it was possible. She had felt nothing for a long time now but to focus on absolutely nothing at all? That had always seemed so very impossible.

One converse-clad foot hovered in the air slightly, pausing mid-step. Her eyes stayed screw shut, like they had been superglued. Her fingers clenched around her iPod, the music flowing through her headphones and to her heart, music was the only thing that she understood, and it was the only thing that seemed to understand her. Her knuckles were white and her breathing hitched, and she swallowed.

And then took a step into the road.

She timed it perfectly. The speeding car hit her without braking, she had given it no time, and sent her flying into the air. She wasn't aware of anything after that. The only thing she remembered was the music that had been playing in her ears. And then nothing. Screams erupted of course, passers by gasping in shock, people already grabbing their mobile phones and frantically phoning an ambulance. The car that hit her squealed to a stop and the driver threw himself out of the car, tears gathering in his eyes already and a look of torment on his face. It was so hetic as people ran towards her as her lifeless body came crashing back down to the ground, gathering around her.

If you had looked beyond the screams and the tears though, beyond the blood trickling from her mouth and the glassy expression in her green eyes, you would've seen, for the tiniest, most glorious moment... a small, tiny smile of relief cross her face, before it all became nothing.

* * *

**A/N: Well. That wasn't supposed to happen 'til later, but oh well, it happened.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Staying Strong**

**"And why'd you fill my sorrows**  
**With the words you've borrowed**  
**From the only place that you've known**  
**Why'd you sing Hallelujah**  
**If it means nothing to you**  
**Why'd you sing with me at all? "**  
**- Delicate, Damien Rice.**

**You know this whole Charlotte being lonely is the only plot thing I've had planned from the beginning of Obvious (yup, I did have a couple sequel ideas in my head even then). If you go back and read Obvious/GTIA (GTIA especially) you'll realise how Charlotte's hardly in it. I'm proud that I actually followed it through. Also I'm sorry this has come out really sad. But I guess all the characters are kinda sad right now. Aaaand I'm in an odd mood.**

* * *

The room was illuminated by two small, glowing candles on the table, casting a sad, lazy glow around the room.

Danny sat at the table, alone. And he wondered how his life could've all come crashing down within a day. He'd thought that things were getting back on track. He had Alice back and the children and Charlotte had even come back but then everything had just gone so _wrong. _And now Alice was gone and so were the children, he found out that she'd taken them from Sam's (Where Charlotte had dropped them off), and Sam had no idea where. And to top it all off, Charlotte was missing. Just vanished into thin air. He'd found out through Sam, who'd told him that Alice had no idea where she was. Alice had disappeared from Sam soon after that, promising to call her soon to find out more about Charlotte. Sam had told Danny that she seemed to be more occupied with running away.

"Charlotte..." Danny let a small tear fall from the corner of his eye.

He held the photograph in his shaking hands, not the one from the fireplace that Charlotte had looked at previously, but a different one that he'd had hidden away from all of them. Contrary to Alice's beliefs, he did actually care. He had taken many photos from the albums at Leopards Den before leaving, even taking small souveniers with him that they wouldn't notice he'd taken. They were all hidden away in a padlocked box (they meant more to him than his own life) at the very back of one of the cupboards. But now, it lay open on the table.

The picture he held was just of Charlotte. She'd been sixteen then. Her long brown hair tumbled in curls, a small, shy smile on her face and green eyes... Danny sighed as he stared into those eyes, especially with what he found there.

He'd noticed that once Charlotte had reached a certain age (Well, more after Alex had been born) that she'd appeared in less and less photos. She still appeared in photos of the family when she was told, but when the camera was turned on her she shyed away from it. There were dozens of Alex and Emma, pointless ones. But hardly any of Charlotte.

He'd flipped through the photo albums sadly when he was at Leopards Den, collecting things for when he left. The album had began to fill with pictures of them all, and Emma and Alex and slowly Charlotte had disappeared. Slipped through a crack. And they'd completely missed it and he couldn't feel more guilty. At first he'd thought it was nothing, maybe it was just where she was older, they grew more self-consious then. Especially girls. But Charlotte hadn't really seemed like that...

Another tear slipped from his gentle green eyes. Charlotte was a lot more like her Mum than everyone thought. She was good at hiding her emotions, he knew that now, something she must've picked up from Alice. Alice had fallen out of that habit, she'd finally settled and grown happy (until he'd ruined it all again and torn her trust in him to shreds without meaning to) and he guessed that as Alice had done that Charlotte had sunk further into herself. Further away from everyone and into loneliness. It was such a sad thought, Charlotte being so lonely. He had never thought about it, and she had been so good at hiding it. Too much for her own good.

Danny gently traced a finger across those eyes of hers. The picture must have caught her by surprise, otherwise she'd have masked her feelings much more, like she did every day, he guessed. It was himself who'd taken the photo. He'd got rather snap happy when Alice had produced a camera for him on his birthday. Everyone had been sitting on the veranda celebrating except for Charlotte. He supposed that he should've noticed it then. The way she isolated herself from everyone. But he hadn't and he regretted that.

While all the others had been on the veranda, Charlotte had drifted away. She had a faraway look in her eyes. Tula, now fully grown, was by the fountain and Charlotte had started petting her softly. Every one of Charlotte's movements were sad, he remembered, she was a little lost. He'd noticed but it hadn't quite registered properly in his mind. So, still snap happy, he'd caught up with Charlotte, wondering why she'd wandered off on her own. Again.

He'd called her name when he reached her, and she'd turned around dolefully. The camera flash had startled her, and she had just about enough time to give a tiny smile. Danny guessed now that she had thought that would hide how she was feeling.

But now, Danny looked properly. And he saw something he wished he didn't. Her eyes were so sad. So very, very sad. He'd thought that Alice's were sad but with Charlottes it was completely different. It was so... Just sad. So much more heart-wrenching. So intense.

It was very obvious, when he looked, and he wondered if others had seen it and chose to ignore it. But surely they hadn't, everyone loved Charlotte, she'd just grown a little lost, that was all. Danny didn't doubt for one second that Alice loved Charlotte. Charlotte meant more to Alice than anything, she had been the only friend she'd had. Even if she was her daughter. Sometimes Danny truly believed that Alice would always love Charlotte more than him, even Alex and Emma. Only sometimes. He knew that she loved Alex and Emma with all her heart, but some part of her would always, just that tiniest bit, love and need Charlotte more.

Danny's fingers fell from the photo. He guessed that Charlotte didn't know that.

"I'm sorry." He murmured to the photograph of the girl. The girl that Charlotte had become. He wasn't quite sure that he knew who she was anymore. And he wondered how he'd missed it all. Just assumed that she was growing up. Yes, she'd grown up alright. But much too quickly. So wrongly. "I'm so, so sorry." He whispered sorrowfully, his voice breaking.

* * *

Skye had reluctantly taken the money that Alice had given her. Skye ran a bed and breakfast, and had tried to let Alice, Alex and Emma stay free of charge but Alice was having none of it. She didn't want pity or charity. She'd all but forced Skye to take the money. Skye had given her a odd glance when she'd only come back with two children, but had chose not to say anything about Charlotte, noting the way Alice's jaw was set firmly, ready to snap if she dare ask.

Alex and Emma were tucked up in bed, and the two other guests that Skye had were out (They were rather young, fresh out of university, Skye had told her). Skye and Alice sat on the sofa, the lamps softly illuminating the room, a warm light spilling from them. Alice placed her glass of wine on the table and rest her head on Skye's shoulder.

"Where are we, Alice?" Skye practically whispered.

Alice looked up and saw the torn expression on Skye's face, her big brown eyes fearful and cautious. Alice sighed, and reached up to Skye's face, and stroked her thumb across one soft cheek. Skye closed her eyes and rest her head on top of Alice's. Alice felt tears building up at the intensity of the moment at just the slightest intimacy. She curled into Skye's side, her hand falling from Skye's face and moulding into her own hand.

"I don't know, Skye." Alice sighed. "Where do you want us to be?"

Skye gave out a small laugh, "I want everything to go back to when we were young. Before we happened. When we were just friends. And I'd make us never happen. I'd rather grow up never having you and wishing for you, than have you and lose you like I did."

Alice felt a tear slip from her eyes. Alice closed them, and whispered so quietly it was barely audiable, "Me too."

"I wish I could." Skye said thoughtfully, "But I can't and..." She paused, probably waiting for Alice to look up at her. Alice stubbornly kept her head on Skye's shoulder, eyes closed, wishing the world away. "And you're married." Alice's eyes snapped open then and she stared up at Skye curiously, "And I know you, Alice... Trevanion. You love him. You love him so very much." Alice pulled away from Skye and opened her mouth to protest, but Skye cut across her, "You love him so much it scares you. Because he's hurt you and let you down like everyone else in your life. But you still love him, it's so easy to see. More than you ever loved me or Richard or anyone else in your life."

A small sob escaped Alice's lips, tears trembling down her cheeks, "But I don't want to love Danny!" She wailed, she reached out and took Skye's hand, "I want to love you!"

"But you don't." Skye whispered, and then cleared her throat, stopping tears from falling from her own eyes. "You only want to love me because I've never hurt you. I'm the only person who's never done that. You don't love me for... me. You love Danny for him, for everything about him, regardless if he's hurt you. Because everyone that you love hurts you, Alice. Haven't you learnt that by now?" Skye asked her, "I learned that lesson from you. Even so many years later I love you and you hurt me. And Danny loves you, too, you know that. You know he does. But even though somebody loves you and doesn't want to hurt you it doesn't mean that they won't because in the end everybody hurts you or lets you down."

Skye took Alice into her arms as she began to cry, and kissed her hair softly. "I'm sorry, Skye." Alice mumbled.

"Not your fault." Skye whispered, and a single fell from her brown eyes.

Alice looked up at Skye, and then pressed her lips softly against hers once. Twice. Then a third. Softly.

Skye pulled away from her and held her at arms length.

"Skye-" Alice began to plead.

"You're married and I'm taken." Skye told her firmly, squeezing her shoulders, "As much as I love you..." Skye exhaled softly, "You've _got _to let go of the past, Alice."

"Taken?" Alice questioned, frantically rubbing at her eyes, horrified over her sobs.

Skye grinned, "Aye. As strange as it may seem, I didn't mope about you for god knows how many years. I met new people. Many people. None of them ever seemed to compare to you." Skye's face turned pensive, "But then I met Brooke. And she cheered me up and I _love_ her. I learned to let go of the past, Alice." Skye told her fiercely, "Now it's your turn."

Alice nodded, sniffed, then rubbed at her red eyes again. "Okay." She whispered.

* * *

There was a faint beeping somewhere, she registered that in the back of her mind, but more importantly, she was awake. She was breathing and her heart was beating and she was alive. Her sad green eyes flickered open slowly, and she woke up to a lonely room. What else had she expected if she had survived? She thought bitterly. Nobody cared about her. Not anymore.

It didn't work, was her next thought. And Charlotte's throat tightened, and tears pricked her eyes.

And then she turned on her side in the hospital bed, ignoring the various needles and machines. And she curled up into a ball on her side and buried her face into her knees. And she sobbed harder than she ever had before. And she wasn't quite sure she would ever be able to stop.

"It didn't **fucking **work!" She choked on her sobs.

* * *

**A/N: So I was gonna leave you on the bit with Alice but my odd mood made me feel bad and I put that last bit there even though it's sad and Charlotte's not glad she's alive. You may all be glad she's alive but she isn't. Let me know what you think of this. I'm writing it in a very strange mood indeed so I'm neither pleased or ashamed of it?**


	22. Chapter 22

**Staying Strong**

**"I don't think that I was ever trying to kill myself but I knew that if I had ever gone too far, that I wouldn't care."**  
**- Demi Lovato**

* * *

And they questioned the scars on her arms and her thighs. And she simply discharged herself. She didn't care if it wasn't recommended, she was awake and she wanted to be out of this place where people tried to look after her. Why were they trying to make her better? Didn't they understand that she didn't want to get better? What would she have to go back to? An ashamed family? Well, no actually, she wouldn't.

Charlotte sat on the edge of the pavement on a quiet, calm road. There was no rush of traffic and there was no crowds bustling about on the pavement. It was just... peaceful. And she liked that. She was alone and she could think. And she never wanted that, before, because thinking was dangerous. But now she did not care. She was way beyond caring anymore. And maybe that should've scared her, the thought of not caring, about people or herself of whether she lived or died but it didn't because she had already accepted that was her a long time ago but had never wanted to admit it.

Charlotte sighed and rolled her iPod in her hands, it was battered and scratched and only one headphone worked now. Her other hand was sprained, that was where she'd landed on it, and two of her ribs were broken, along with some ugly bruises covering the right of her face where she had landed. She didn't care. Her face was ugly anyway so what did it matter if there were a few bruises marked upon it?

She plugged the headphone into her left ear and closed her eyes. She pressed the play button and listened to the music that flowed through her ears. It was instrumental music, that she had recorded herself. She was very musical, she could play guitar and keyboard and Lewis had promised to teach her how to play bass. Charlotte closed her eyes and gritted her teeth when she thought of him. Hopefully, Lewis was fufilling that promise to some other girl now. Charlotte hoped that girl knew how lucky she was to have him. Oh god, how much she'd loved him, so much, and it had scared her, terrified the living daylights out of her because she had never expected to love anyone let alone at nineteen. But she couldn't love him the right way, she wasn't good enough, she never had been. Maybe in his eyes she was but he was just too nice for his own good. That was why she'd left. Because she wasn't good enough.

Charlotte pushed all thoughts of Lewis out of her head, for a moment she paused, listening to the instrumental music. She'd already written the lyrics to go with this piece. She'd had the strangest urge to sing out loud- but she never did that. She doubted her Mum even knew that she liked to sing. Music was the only thing that mattered to Charlotte, it helped her forget but at the same time it helped express everything that she was feeling. But never had she sang in front of anyone. No, she wasn't good enough for that.

She sniffed and violently scrubbed the tears from her blotchy cheeks. Then she stood up and just carried on walking. She wasn't going anywhere, she had no real destination. Charlotte knew but only one thing: She wasn't going back to her family.

Because she wasn't good enough for them.

"Happy birthday." She murmured to herself sadly as she walked away and then the only sound was the autumn leaves that crunched underneath her converse covered feet.

* * *

Alice awoke in a room that was both familiar and unfamiliar. After a few moments of tired confusion, she finally realised that she was still at Skye's. Alice sighed and pushed herself up on her elbows, looking on either side of her to make sure that both Emma and Alex were still there and hadn't wandered off. Of course, she'd known that Emma wouldn't, she barely left her side. But Alex... Well, who knows?

Emma stirred slightly as Alice tried to wiggle out from underneath the duvet without waking them. Her blue eyes flickered open slowly and she stared at Alice, dazed, "Mummy?" She croaked.

"Shh, shhh." Alice murmured, glancing at Alex and then at the clock. Eight thirty. She stroked Emma's hair tenderly, "Go back to sleep honey, it's early."

Emma shook her head indignantly, "No, cos then I'll wake up."

Alice frowned, "What d'you mean?"

Emma sat up, rubbing her eyes with her tiny fists, "I thought you picking us up wasn't real. I thought you were gone, Mummy."

Tears pricked Alice's eyes, "No, honey, I'd never leave you." She whispered, and gathered her in her arms tightly.

Emma was silent for a few moments as she rest her head on Alice's chest, and then she looked up shyly at Alice. "Mummy, it's Charlotte's birthday."

Alice's breath caught in her throat, "I know."

"She's not coming to back to cele... celebrate, is she?" Emma asked sadly, and then coughed lightly.

Alice rubbed Emma's back worriedly as she replied, "No, baby, I don't think she is."

"It's my fault!" Emma wailed, and Alice felt Alex jerk awake beside her, "I told her not to c-come b-back w-without you! And... And she's p-probably s-still looking for you, Mummy!" Emma sobbed.

Alice held Emma closer, "Shh, honey, Charlotte's just sad, that's all. It's not your fault." Alice soothed her.

When the truth was she didn't know why Charlotte had gone at all.

* * *

Alice paused before she picked up the phone. Emma and Alex were in the front room and Skye was standing beside her with a hand on her shoulder, giving her an encouraging smile. Alice took a deep breath and took the plunge, stabbing the numbers into the phone quickly and holding the phone close to her ear. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly as the dialling tone started, and she knew that within a matter of seconds his voice would come.

"Hello?"

Alice's knees almost gave out below her and she grabbed onto the banisters of the stairs behind her for support, clutching them for support. She was momentarily speechless, unable to say anything. Danny was silent, waiting for her to say something, but she was unable to say anything.

"Who is this?" He asked when he gained no answer.

Alice took a deep breath, "Danny?"

"Alice! Alice, please, I-"

Alice cut across him, reading out Skye's address from a piece of paper Skye had shoved into her hands hastily. When she was done, she added, "Come as soon as you can. I need to talk to you."

"I'll leave. Right now." He promised her.

"Danny?" She said just as he was about to hand up.

"Yes?"

"I love you." She told him honestly.

She could picture the smile on his face as he replied breathily, "I love you more, Alice." And then proceeded to hang up. Alice swallowed, and as she was placing the phone back down on the cradle she realised that her hands were shaking.

Skye reached out for her and pulled her into a comforting hug, "You won't regret it." Skye promised her, "You need to talk through things properly. You can get through this."

Alice was about to reply when they both heard the front door slam. They released each other and Alice gave Skye an odd look, before remembering she ran a bed and breakfast. Skye gave her a small smile and a meaningful look, before hurrying down the hallway to inspect who'd just entered. Alice guessed that it was probably Skye's permenant guests that hadn't come back last night.

"What's the point in paying for the night if you're not gonna use the room, eh?" Alice heart Skye say, and she chuckled to herself. "You dirty stop out, go on, you reek of booze and drugs- and y'know what I told you about them! Next time, you'll be out!"

"Well it weren't like I was doing 'em 'ere!" She heard someone protest.

"You should be stopping him from doing them, you told me you'd look after him."

"S'not my fault, he got away from me."

Alice froze. She knew that voice.

Skye and her two permenant guests rounded the corner. Skye gave her a worried look when she saw Alice's look of distress. Alice could hardly believe it as she stared at the figure on the right of Skye. There was an equally shocked look on his face, too. In daylight, she could see him properly. He looked even younger than he had when she first met him, brown eyes burning with humour, and a small grin on his face. Alice felt like she was going to be sick.

"Alice? You can't keep away can you? Come back for more?" He goaded her.

Skye's eyes flashed to Alice.

The room began to spin for Alice like she was drunk, and suddenly, she felt like she was going to be sick. She placed a hand over her mouth as his name escpaed her lips, "Tom."

Tom. Tom who'd she'd slept with in the alley after getting drunk at the nightclub.

And then the doorbell rang. Danny had arrived.


	23. Chapter 23

**Staying Strong**

**Sorry for not having written much lately. I have lots of exams at the moment! I should really be revising for my French speaking exam but I'm contemplating just giving up with all schoolwork so yep. Also, from here on, extra characters will have my accent, cos it's easiest to write/relevant to where they live in London. Though I'm pretty sure you'll understand it anyway cos I haven't got much of an accent.**

**I am writing Charlotte's storlyine because I want to prove I am strong. I will not be defeated.**

**Also if you're squeamish don't read Charlotte's part. Potentially triggering, etc. Though I'm sure nobody'd have that problem. You're all beautiful.  
**

* * *

Alice fell to the floor in a heap, wrapping her arms around her knees and burying her face into them, sobbing her heart out in shock. She heard Skye muttering something. Probably saying she was going to get the door. But she didn't understand, she just heard a noise. Every thought of hers was consumed with Danny, thinking about how she was going to _have _to tell him because she _couldn't _lie to him if they were going to get this to work.

Tom's friend walked away, laughing, saying "You got yourself into this one, mate." She ignored him, pushing her face further into her knees, wishing for the ground to swallow her whole.

Tom dropped to his knees beside her, and placed an arm on her shoulder. She jerked away from his touch instantly, and he pulled away his hand, nodding in acceptance. Understanding. She raised her head to look at him, sapphire eyes puffy, cheeks blotchy from her crying, and he smiled reassuringly at her. Danny's voice echoed through the hallway, and they heard the slam of the front door, followed by footsteps heading into the front room. Good old Skye. But they didn't mention it.

"I am... I am so, so sorry." Tom mumbled, cheeks reddening slightly. Alice studied him, he was just merely a boy, really, they all made mistakes. She couldn't blame him. Before she could open her mouth to interrupt him, Tom spoke again, "I know what I get like when I'm drunk." Tom swallowed, "But my mate... He spiked my drink... Y'know, I just... I dunno... I just... S'not..." He shrugged, and scratched his cheek awkwardly, "I didn't realise 'til I'd got up in the morning and just... I'm sorry."

Alice nodded, lips pressed together tightly.

Tom bit his lip, "You said... You said he wasn't around. Can I just ask..." Tom paused, and Alice considered him with hard eyes, "I know it's personal but... Why isn't he around?"

"I live in south africa." Alice found herself saying, and smirked at Tom's wide eyes. "He came over to England. Left me to look after our kids. I thought he'd be back in a few weeks. He didn't come back. Didn't tell me why. Can't tell me, apparently." Alice sniffed, and rubbed her eyes with the back of her sleeve.

"Hey, don't do that." Tom said, pulling her hand away from her face and rubbing her tears away with his own fingers, with feather-light touches, almost as if he was afraid to touch her.

Alice continued her story as if she'd never been interrupted, afraid that if she waited to long she'd be in a mess again. "I came over here to England. With our kids. Well- Well, actually, yeah, our kids. My oldest one... She's..." Alice felt tears building in her eyes again, and she wondered why she was telling Tom this. But it was as if she needed to get it off her chest. "She's run away." Alice stated, "And I... I thought coming over here would fix me and my husband- Danny, his name is... But it didn't. I just got angry. I'm always so angry lately." Alice told him honestly, "And honestly... I was completely drunk, more than I think I've ever been in my whole life... But I think that... I think that night was more because of anger than drunkeness."

She was almost afraid of what he would think of her.

Tom seemed to sense this, and smiled softly, "We were both wasted." He said, and clapped his hands together, "Well, you want my opinion?" Alice nodded slowly, afraid. "You should be in there. With your husband."

"But-"

"Go to him."

* * *

Alice and Danny sat opposite each other at the table. Danny had his head in his hands, tears rolling freely from his eyes. "I don't want to hear it." He said quietly.

Alice sniffed, "Danny-"

"You already _said _you cheated on me, so why are you even bothering?" Danny demanded as his head snapped up and his eyes met hers.

Alice let out a small sob involuntarily, "Because I love you. And it meant _nothing _to me, Danny- I was _drunk. _And- And I didn't want to lie to you-"

"Oh, and so, what? You slept with someone else and because you told me when you didn't have to, that makes it all better, does it?" Danny remarked bitterly.

"No!" Alice squeaked, "I just..." She groaned, "I don't know."

They sat in silence for what felt like hours but what was only a matter of minutes. Danny sighed, running a hand through his short, balding hair, and looked up at her. Stared right into her eyes. And in his eyes she saw regret and anguish and what looked like betrayal. And she hated how he looked at her like that. She hated how she must've disappointed him. How disappointed in herself she was. Alice couldn't stand the gaze anymore, that piercing gaze, and looked away. She was a coward.

"Danny... I need to tell you something else." She whispered, barely audiable.

Danny laughed in shock, "Oh, there's more? Bloody hell, why don't you just shred my heart into pieces while you're fucking there, Alice?"

"No! It's not! I mean... You might... It doesn't... It doesn't change us. Will never change us." She said firmly.

"What more can you possibly have to tell me, Alice?" Danny asked, shaking his head. She swallowed. Her heart beat in her chest loudly, couldn't he hear it? It was the only thing that she could hear in that room- the sound of her pulse going wild.

It was now or never, she decided. She'd never have the guts to say it again.

"I'm... I'm bisexual."

Danny stared at Alice in shock.

"What?"

"I'm bisexual. Skye, that woman who owns this place... She's, uh, she's my ex-girlfriend."

Danny stood up, towering over her trembling form in her seat, anger evident in his eyes. "All these years of marriage and you didn't _think _for one second that your sexuality just might be _important _to know?" He yelled.

Alice hated homophobes.

She jumped to her feet, quick and energtically, she was surprised in herself. But adrenaline coursed through her veins, helping her stick up for herself. "It doesn't change me as a person, Danny!" She roared, "It will _never, ever _change me from the person I am! The person you love!" She knew she shouldn't scream at him so wildly, the children would hear, but she didn't listen to herself. Ever. "I thought you were the one person who wouldn't judge me! I am sick and tired of people I love judging me and hurting me- I thought you were different! I thought I could trust you!" She screamed at him, tears in her eyes, chest heaving and eyes filled with rage. "But you know what?" Her voice changed from screaming to a low, menacing tone in a second. "People are all the same. And nobody is worth my time."

She turned to leave but Danny grabbed her. He gathered her in his arms and crushed her tight to his chest, and she could hear his own heartbeat beating as wildly as her own. And all anger escaped her and she gripped him tightly, searching for support, for something that would reassure her. So Danny held her tight and kissed her hair and whispered "I'm sorry. I love you." into her hair. And they cried.

* * *

Charlotte scratched the bottom of her forearms, chewing her lip, as she stood by Jessie, a friend from work. Jessie was just gathering her things as both their shifts from the restaraunt was over. Charlotte was dreading the question that she had been avoiding from Jessie all day. Although she knew that she couldn't avoid it forever, she did like to hold it off for as long as possible. She'd actually hoped that she'd be able to "slip away in the shadows" at the end of her shift. But she was pretty sure that Jessie had some kind of eagle-like vision, and had picked her out before she'd had the chance to get away.

Jessie threw her bag over her shoulder. Then she turned to Charlotte and smiled. Charlotte smiled politely and quickly moved her arms away from her forearms, and turned to walk. They weaved through the tables which very few of were occupied, and headed out of the restaraunt. As they reached the entrance/exit, Jessie grabbed Charlotte's forearm, and she tried very hard not to wince- despite the face that Jessie had barely touched her at all.

"I never, ever see you go out anywhere! _Please _come with me to the club? It'll be great! Seriously, neither of us have work tomorrow, and as far as I'm aware you have no other social life at all. Or are you going to sit in with the family and that? That's 'n 'alf boring!" She grinned, teasing.

"You know I don't live with my family." Charlotte mumbled.

"That's not answering my question, Char."

Charlotte sighed, "Jessie, I've told you before, I do not want to go out."

Jessie pouted, "Why on earth not, eh? Have you got some kind of hot boyfriend waiting for you at home that I don't know about?" She grinned cheekily.

Charlotte felt her heart turn to ice. Always. There was always a constant reminder of Lewis. Oh god, how she missed him. So very, very much. She wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to carry on living feeling like she had this huge part missing in her life. She had lost everything and everyone. She hadn't seen her Mum in weeks, and as far as she was aware, her Mum wasn't searching for her. She hadn't seen any of her other family, either, and she wondered if they missed her. Probably not. There wasn't much to miss. And Lewis? Well, she just hoped he'd found someone.

"I can't, Jessie. Maybe someday." _Never_

Jessie rolled her eyes and gave up, and walked toward her car. Charlotte waited until she had drove away for when she dived back into the restaraunt. She headed into the toilets, quietly and without being noticed as she was so very praticed in, and locked herself in one of the cubicles. The toilets were all empty besides her.

She closed the toilet lid and sat on it tentatively. She opened up her bag slowly, rifling through it's contents for the one thing she constantly carried around with her. Her hands closed around it carefully as she pulled it out. One of the blades from her razor. She stared at it numbly, as she always did. And she wondered why she even bothered anymore. It was supposed to help her feel something, anything, because nowadays all she could feel was emptiness. But it didn't even help anymore. Half the time she'd simply stare and wonder why she felt so _empty. _

Taking a deep breath, Charlotte rolled her sleeve up hastily, revealing a number of long, horizontal white scars. They were the newest. She was in England now, not Africa, she could always keep her arms covered up without any excuse. Whereas in Africa she couldn't.

Charlotte's fingertips lightly traced the scars. She thought that they were beautiful. Long, sometimes short, raised, white lines, etched into her skin forever. They were the only thing beautiful about her now. Her looks were nothing and her soul was an ugly, ugly thing.

She pressed the tip of the blade to her skin, gripping it lightly, taking another deep breath. Then, quickly, she added pressure. Pressure and pressure. Too much, maybe, far too much. Way too deep. Had she gone too far? Was it too deep? Was it life-threatening? But these questions always crossed her mind.

She gasped when the scarlet oozed from the wound, dropping the blade from her shaking hands. The crimson blood seeped thickly from the wound, and she felt dizzy. There was way too much blood. But she had to go deep. Had to. Charlotte could hardly feel it when she harmed herself anymore, she had to go further to feel something. Her fingers dipped in her own blood, and she raised her hand close to her eyes, ignoring the wound that she should be trying to stop bleeding. But she didn't care.

Charlotte sat and stared at the blood that dripped from her fingertips. And swallowed, hard.

She wondered when she had turned so ugly.


	24. Chapter 24

**Staying Strong**

_Three Weeks Later_

Charlotte found that she missed home a lot more than she could ever imagine. In fact she _pined_ for her family and her home; even smelly old Dupe. At first she thought that she'd be fine. That she'd be okay. Because that's what she always was: Fine. Okay. Coping. Of course, there'd been the ache in her heart where she missed her Mum but she hadn't thought to stop and think about her brothers and sisters or her nephew and on-the-way nieces or just the general family. Now that she had had more time to grow used to the idea of never seeing them again, not even with a proper goodbye, she'd realised how much she truly missed them and needed them.

She wondered if any of them were missing her. If any of them ever thought of her. She thought of them all the time. Every thought, each and every one of her insignificant, worthless thoughts; they always linked back to them. She'd see a few flowers in someones front garden and remember when they all planted flowers on Dupe's face when he was sleeping and took photos; she'd see a dog being walked by it's owner and remember domino and the storm that brought her Mum and Danny together in the first place; she'd walk past the hospital and remember when Emma was born and how she wasn't allowed out for the first few months of her life- the only times she didn't think of them was when she saw metal, shiny, silver metal. Of course she wouldn't think of them then. She'd just think of how_ disgusting _she was- This was all her fault, it was all her own doing. She was pretty sure she could just walk back and Danny, at least, would take her in. Or Sam. Sam always forgave her. But it was like she couldn't help but destroy her life. It was sick.

In front of her, Tom laughed, "Bloody hell, you remind me so much of her it's unreal."

Charlotte tipped her head to the side once she'd zoned back into the real world, staring at him with confusion, "Who?"

"Here, Skye!" Tom called her, and Skye appeared in the doorway, "Dun't she remind ya of... Y'know?"

Skye nodded in understanding, and joined them in the front room, sitting on the sofa adjacent to theirs. "Aye..." Skye frowned, "I'm not quite sure why."

"S'that look in 'er eyes, ain't it?" Tom said, and looked back at Charlotte. She felt oddly like a freak show. She hated attention. "Faraway. You eyes are n'alf like 'er."

"Who?" Charlotte demanded.

Tom smiled, "This woman that stayed round here, Alice, her name was."

Charlotte let out a small squeak of surprise, "Oh." And then, "Well, I better be off to bed. Early start in the morning, got to find somewhere else to-"

"Why don't you stay here again, then?" Skye asked, "You don't have to keep moving about, staying for just one night. Tom's been staying months."

Charlotte stared at him with raised eyebrows, "Too lazy to look after yourself?" She asked.

Tom laughed, "God no. I got outta university and had nowhere to go. Y'see, my Dad's a complete wanker and a half, cleared off when I was like 5 for some hot spanish bird, and my Mum- well, God, I still love her, adore the woman. Raised me on her own and all that, she's a right heroine. But I've got this half-brother right, and he's alright, ain't his fault his Mum got knocked up by my Dad, is it? But my mum don't approve. Won't talk to me 'til I stop talking to my brother, Jamie his name is, but you know, it's kinda nice to have someone. Love my Mum and all, but y'know... She's my _Mum. _Not a mate, really." Tom explained.

Charlotte stared at him, astounded, "So you just stay in B&B's?"

"Nope, just this one. Skye's great, got a hot girlfriend." He winked at her, teasing, and she swatted at him playfully with the back of her hand. Charlotte raised her eyebrows, unaware about Skye, but didn't comment, she'd been raised better than that. Tom turned back to her, "And it's just round the corner from my Mum, so I can always go round the corner and check on her, just check she's fine- She won't talk to me. But I talk to the neighbours."

Charlotte wondered just how much people suffered in this world.

* * *

Danny pressed a kiss to Alice's temple as she rest her head on his shoulder as they sat on the sofa. She froze, surprised. He understood. He'd hardly touched her since she'd come back, he'd found it difficult. They'd been more concerned on trying to hunt down Charlotte anyway, to worry about the cracks in their relationship. Most were repaired now. They just didn't speak of... Alice's actions. He'd forgiven her, he didn't blame her, he loved her and he would always forgive her; but he wasn't sure if she knew that.

Slowly, Alice wrapped an arm around Danny's chest and snuggled closer to him. She sighed gently as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Do you think she'll ever come home?" Alice whispered.

"She was very unhappy." Danny replied, avoiding the question. He hadn't raised this point with Alice yet, he didn't want her to take it the wrong way, but he knew that it had to come out sooner or later.

Alice was silent for many moments, with closed eyes as she listened to the sound of his beating heart jumping through his shirt. A few small tears trickled down her cheeks and she whispered, "Yeah. She was."

* * *

**Would you rather find out why Danny's staying in England first, or have Charlotte meet Alice again first? I can't decide!**

**Also, don't know if I said this before, but extra characters created in England besides Skye have my accent.  
**


	25. Chapter 25

**Staying Strong**

_The Next Day_**  
**

Danny poked his head into little Emma's room. It was 10 in the morning and him and Alice had been concerned as to why she hadn't got up yet when usually she was awake at the crack of dawn. She was already dressed, sitting on the edge of her bed with a piece of paper in her hands. He frowned, and stepped into the room, closing the door softly behind him. Emma did not look up at him.

He sat down gently on the bed beside her. "Hey, what's that?" He asked.

Emma finally looked up at him, and then back down at the piece of paper in her hands. "It's my happy birthday drawing for Charlotte. I drew it before her birthday. But she didn't come for her birthday. I forgot about it, and I only just found it and remembered it, is that bad of me, Daddy?" She asked quietly. He was shocked, his little girl was only 5, she shouldn't know sadness, but quickly started comforting her.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close in a hug. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "Of course not, Emma. You've got other things to think about than Charlotte, it's not expected of you to-"

Emma pushed him away, and slinked off the bed to stand, she was frowning at him in disbelief, "Daddy, I didn't forget about Charlotte**." **She said sharply, "I'd never forget Charlotte! I just... I forgot..." Emma looked down at the birthday drawing she had made for Charlotte. It was her and Charlotte, Charlotte had Emma on her shoulders like she did sometimes, and she'd written 'happy birthday' in her best handwriting across the top (She'd had her Mum help her with the spelling). Emma's lower lips started trembling, "I just forgot I never gave it to her and that she missed her birthday. Why won't she come _back_?" Emma cried, suddenly bursting into tears.

Danny slid off the bed and knelt in front of her, "Shh... Shhh, Emma." He whispered, wiping her tears and then hugging her tightly. She held onto her Dad tightly and simply sobbed.

* * *

Danny headed downstairs with Emma holding his hand ten minutes later. He smiled to himself. Her tiny, precious little hand encased in his own brought him so much joy. It was just so wonderful for the feel of her hand in his, and he wasn't quite sure why. They entered the front room where Alex was hanging off the end of the sofa upside-down playing his DS, and Alice was wrapped up in many layers of clothing watching the TV. It was getting cold for Autumn time.

Alice looked over at them when they walked through the doorway. She frowned at Emma's puffy red eyes, looked up at Danny and he shooked his head and mouthed 'Later'. She nodded and held her arms out for Emma, "Hey baby," She said as Emma crawled into her lap, leaning her head on Alice's shoulder, "Want to choose what to watch?" She asked.

Emma sniffed and shook her head, "No, I'll be like Charlotte and watch grown-up TV with you." She mumbled.

Alice ignored the pain in her heart at the mention of Charlotte, and smiled, "The news is hardly grown-up TV, Emma. But whatever you say."

Danny sat down next to Alice, who looked up at him and smiled. He smiled in return and then tugged on one of the locks of her hair which had fallen out of her loose ponytail. She smiled wryly and tucked it behind her ear, leaning her head on top of Emma's, arms tightening around her more. Danny smiled at the sight.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Alex leapt to his feet yelling "I'll get it!" Before Alice or Danny could react. They chuckled to themselves, and let him fetch to the door.

Alex opened the door, before he could say hello- actually, before the door was even half-open and womans voice floated through, "Danny, I know you said stay away but... Oh!" She squeaked when Alex opened the door fully and frowned. "Who are you?"

Alex scowled at her, "Who are _you?" _He returned.

The woman in front of him must be in her mid-30's. She had long ash blonde hair that reached her waist tied in a plait, with small, tired green eyes. She was tall, towered over Alex, and was very, very slim. She was beautiful, too, which registered in the back of his mind somewhere but didn't quite reach the front of his mind. She was frowning, biting down on her bottom lip. The woman had a scarf wrapped tight around her neck, hands stuffed in her pockets and collar of her long trench coat pulled up. Her legs were covered with jeans and boots. The only skin he could see was her face. He guessed she was cold.

"I'm... Uh..." She stuttered, lost for words.

"Alex? Who is it?" Alice's voice called through the hall.

"I don't know!" Alex shouted back before the woman could say anything.

Alice frowned and looked up at Danny, who had a worried look in his eyes. She stood up, picking Emma up with her and holding her on her hip. She walked quickly out into the hall, and noticed the woman at the door. She frowned and opened her mouth to speak, but then the womans eyes moved past her and to Danny standing behind her.

"Danny?"

Alice turned around to Danny immediately, "Danny, what on earth is going on here?"

Danny looked from the woman to Alice and back to the woman again. Then back to Alice. "I-I..."

* * *

**CLIFFHANGER! WOO!**

**So, theories? Any? Or don't you care that much? I'd really like to know what people think Danny's been doing in England/Who this woman is! :3**


	26. Chapter 26

**Staying Strong**

**Nobody guessed who she was! Though you all guessed the same, actually! All close. But not close enough. You finally find out who this woman is XD (Yes, *finally*, she's been in earlier chapters! Okay, one). I think this half-explains why Danny's been in England. It will be explained properly in the next chapter.  
This fic only has a few chapters left. Then there will be a sequel! Yay! (*Pictures many groans*) I can't let go of this storyline.  
**

Danny swallowed nervously. In the doorway, stood the 30 year old woman he knew as Hannah. She was staring at him with a mixture of confusion and pain in her eyes, shivering on the spot. He glanced to Alice, who was glaring at him with her accusing sapphire eyes filled with betrayal and anger. Of course Alice wouldn't show any pain. She had not for a while, shown any sort of weakness, he was not surprised.

"Alice... This is Hannah." He said weakly, "Hannah, this is my wife... Alice... And two of my kids, Alex and Emma."

Hannah's eyes widened with disbelief, jaw slack slightly. Then she stepped around Alex and stalked towards him, not glancing at Alice or Emma. She stopped when she was directly in front of Danny, and her eyes were filled with rage. That didn't feel right. This was all coming out so wrong! He wanted to hold Hannah close until all the pain she felt was gone, he wanted to comfort her and make her happy again. But he didn't, and her eyes turned hard and her face twisted into a sneer.

"I knew I should've listened to my family."

Those words cut through him more sharply than he suspected Hannah knew, and it felt like a block of ice had replaced his heart. Alice stepped forward to Danny, staring at Hannah, having placed Emma on the ground. She pushed between Danny and Hannah and stared down at Hannah.

"_Who _are you?" She asked sharply.

Hannah's lips quirked slightly, "Oh, he hasn't told you?" Hannah laughed bitterly.

"Hannah." Danny warned behind Alice.

Both ignored him, "You tell me then." Alice demanded.

Hannah was silent for a long time, lips pursed and brow slightly furrowed as if she was thinking about whether she should spill her secrets or not. Eventually, her face straightened out and she sighed. "Alice, I'm Danny's daughter." She whispered nervously.

Alice reeled back in shock immeadiately, looking as if she'd just been slapped, eyes wider than Danny had ever seen. She glanced between Hannah and Danny many times, suddenly looking at them in a new light. Same eyes. Same height. Same stances. Same shape of face. Same _everything. _How had she not noticed it immeadiately? How could she have been so stupid and not realised?

A tiny voice spoke up inside of her then. No, it wasn't anything to do with her. This was Danny. How could Danny have kept such a huge secret from her? _How? _She'd trusted him with _everything _that she had- it had been a rough journey admittedly, but she had got there. She had told him everything about her and trusted him with her heart and thought that he had told her everything about him, too. She thought they had a totally honest relationship. But it was _lies._

She tried to speak. Tried to do something. Anything. But all she could do was stumble further and further backwards_, _mouth opening and shutting like a goldfish, staring at Danny with betrayal. Everything she tried to say, every hateful word or accusation or even a cry was stuck in her throat. Alice was pretty sure that she had gone into shock.

"Alice..." Danny whispered, pain lacing his voice.

Alice shook her head slowly, frowning, and toppled backwards when her feet hit the stairs. She landed on a bottom stair, and drew her knees up to her chest, shaking slightly. Slowly she realised that she couldn't quite register what she was being told. Her brain found it difficult to handle. This Hannah, she couldn't be older than Rosie, in fact she only looked a few years younger than her. But that would mean... No, not Danny. She couldn't imagine Danny ever doing that. But... No. Just no.

"See what you do?" Hannah cried, "You just hide secrets upon secrets- You have a wife, two kids!" Hannah's eyes glinted with pain, "And you didn't tell _me, _kept me all a secret, told me to stay away because you needed to _think_! And you didn't even tell your _wife_. What sort of man are you, Danny? _You _said it would be fine to get to know me, that you'd _love _to have me in your life. But just _look_..." Hannah paused, hands falling to her sides uselessly and her voice fell from a shout to a whisper, "I don't know anything about you."

"Hannah-"

Hannah and stormed out of the door.

"Alice-"

Alice shook her head, pale white and looking as if she was going to be sick, and fled up the stairs.

"Alex, Emma..."

Alex took Emma's hand and they walked out to the garden. They took the key from the kitchen and locked themselves outside so Danny could not reach them.

He closed the front door and slumped to the floor. He had never felt so alone.


	27. Chapter 27

**Staying Strong**

He closed the front door that Hannah had left open softly, leaning against it for several moments by his forehead, exhaling deeply. He'd not planned it to come out like how it had. He'd planned to break it all to Hannah gently, and to trust Alice with his deepest secrets one late night. But he'd been far too sidetracked by Charlotte running away. Poor, precious Charlotte who's life had come crashing down around her. Charlotte disappearing had seemed much more important to him that his dark secrets. How could Alice blame him, really? For putting Charlotte ahead of anything else? Of course, he understood Alice's reaction completely, but he wasn't _totally _in the wrong.

He climbed the stairs slowly, feet feeling heavier with each step. Danny stopped outside the door to their room, and could hear small, gentle sobs. He did not waste a further second, simply pushed the door to their room open and saw Alice curled up in a ball in the middle of their bed. Everything seemed so out of proportion. The whole room seemed big, giant, even and seemed to swallow Alice. The bed looked too wide and she looked far too small and vulnerable as she cried.

Danny stopped and waited for her, unsure of what he was to do. She sniffed and tried to stop crying as she looked up at him. "Why don't you ever _trust _me?" She whispered in a tiny voice.

Danny crossed the room quickly, climbing to the middle of the bed and wrapping her up in his arms. She continued to cry so he began gently rocking her back and forth. "Shh." He whispered comfortingly, "I _do _trust you, Alice. With everything- with my life."

Alice pulled away, laughing bitterly, "Yeah, right! So she's the whole reason as to why you came to England? Why couldn't you _stay? _Why couldn't you just _tell _me why you were here?" She questioned.

Danny brushed the tears away from her cheeks, "Yes, she was. Alice... I..." He paused, and sniffed, near to tears himself. "Alice, I love you. I wanted to tell you... So, so much. But Hannah... Her Mum, she..." Danny bit his lip, "I... I guess you worked out she's roughly the same age as Rosie."

Alice nodded, staring at him with accusing eyes.

"It was when Rosie's Mum left, just for a little while. Call it trial seperation, if you must... But... I was so distraught and had lost the woman I loved and had a little girl to look after and was so lost..." Danny turned away from her, unable to look Alice in the eyes as he muttered ashamedly, "Miranda's best friend, Abigail, she was there for me... I was confused and looking for comfort and she was beautiful and would give me that comfort... Rosie never questioned it when her "Auntie" Abigail came to visit, she was only 6 then. I thought that it would work out. But one day Abigail told me she couldn't do it anymore and left. A few months later Miranda returned and had cancer and we tried again... For Rosie."

Alice said nothing, just watched him with tears dripping from her eyes.

"I never loved Abigail. I thought I did, but later I knew I didn't. Yes, I liked her more than a friend; but I think that was mostly gratitude than anything." He explained, still not looking into Alice's eyes. "Hannah contacted me a few weeks before I left for England... Abigail..." Danny trailed off and wiped at his eyes as tears began to pour heavily. He breathed in and out carefully trying to regain control. Alice reached out and squeezed his arm lightly, and he regained composure. "Abigail died giving birth to Hannah. She'd only told her Mum, Hannah's Nan, that I was Hannah's father. Abigail didn't have a good family, just had her Mum. So Hannah's Nan, Elizabeth, looked after her for the first three years of her life. Then Elizabeth died- Hannah doesn't even _remember _her, she was too little... She had to grow up in an orphanage."

Alice drew closer to Danny, her hand that had stayed on his arm moving up to wrap around his neck. She wrapped the other one around his neck, too, and pulled him close to a hug. His hands instinctively slid around her back, squeezing her tightly and holding her close. They sat in silence for a few moments, giving and recieving comfort and support from one another. Alice hid her face in Danny's shoulder, letting the tears fall free there. He felt his t-shirt growing wet and his own tears dripped onto her shoulders.

"I wanted to tell you, but I just didn't know how. I was so ashamed. So I came over here, I always forgot to tell you my Mum left me this, because I couldn't bear to tell Hannah that I was happily married, had 6 children and grandchildren when she had to go through all that without me knowing she existed. I couldn't bear to cause her more pain, because she said she'd been too afraid to contact me until now. Didn't want to hurt her. Wanted to break it to her gently..." Danny whispered. "Didn't want to hurt you, either, Alice... Never want to hurt you... Never will."

Alice sniffed, head still hiding in his shoulder. He did not urge her to talk, but she knew she had to say something. Her hands absentmindedly stroked the hairs at the bottom of his neck affectionately as she tried to think of words to say. What was she supposed to say to that? No words would ever be good enough to tell Danny how amazing (but idiotic) he was and how much she loved him and how much she forgave him (even though he was quite silly sometimes) and always would. How did she put all the things she felt in her heart into words?

So all that slipped out, when she turned her head slightly to whisper in his ear, was, "I know."

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**The next chapter will be the last. I do have a sequel planned, if you guise would like it.  
**


	28. Chapter 28

**Staying Strong**

**Hello! This is the very last chapter. (I say chapter, it's very short and could be classed as an epilogue) I hope to write a sequel to this, I have a basic plotline (will include much more angst- just thought I'd warn you) (oh come on- have you guise forgot about Charlotte already?) but need little smaller plotlines, obviously, can't just have one that's boring! I'm also trying to think of a name for it. "Staying Strong" is the best I've ever thought up, so I'm trying to think up a fic name that will do it some credit.  
**

**Enjoy, let me know what you think. **

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_Three Days Later_

Hannah's finger hovered barely millimeters above the doorbell. It was just a few millimeters, she told herself, she could do this. She could push the button and face him. And his wife. And his two children. Oh, God. Her adoptive parents (They'd adopted her at 15, they were lovely, God bless them, but she had never learnt to love them, as horrible as that was) had told her not to bother. If he had been a decent man he'd have got in chance. But Danny hadn't _known _and they didn't know what it was like to be an orphan. Well, she wasn't an orphan. Not really.

Suddenly, the door opened, to reveal the woman Danny had called Alice. His wife. She smiled at Hannah, quite sadly, "Hello, Hannah."

Hannah stumbled backwards, "Um- I... Oh, God... I just... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have come." She mumbled nervously, turning to leave.

Alice reached out and wrapped her hand tightly around Hannah's shoulder, turning her to face her. Hannah bit her lip and looked up at Alice nervously. Alice still had a friendly- albeit sad- smile on her face, and genuine friendliness in her eyes. "You know, he's been worried; been trying to contact you for _ages. _You just missed him, well, you didn't. He left about an hour ago for work... The er... The kids are at school." Alice told her, understanding written on her features.

Hannah sighed, "He told you, huh?" She asked.

Alice smiled warmly, "I think you're very strong, Hannah. I admire that. Now, I think we should start again. I feel that we weren't properly introduced last time." Alice said, and Hannah frowned at her.

"What do you mean?"

Alice grinned cheekily and stuck out her hand, "Hello, I'm Alice. I'm Danny's Wife. Nice to meet you." She introduced herself.

Hannah stared at her outstretched hand for a few moments. She knew what it meant. She knew that it meant she had acceptance from Alice, and if she shook her hand that would mean she'd have to accept Alice too. Hannah glanced up at Alice who was watching and waiting for her patiently, that smile never fading from her face. She didn't look that bad, and she must be nice if she was married to Danny and had children with him- Danny was a good man.

Hannah reached out and shook Alice's hand.

"Hello, I'm Hannah. I'm Danny's daughter... Pleased to meet you."


End file.
